White Christmas 2007

Enjoying white Christmas Seattle style. Shocking snow!

Isn't it funny. . .

You get the day off (or three weeks) and everything speeds up. Sleeping in is the only way to go. But my first day was long and enjoyed lunch (Thai food) and dinner (Korean food) with my parents and then Merissa and Rodney. It was great fun. I will post more pictures when I can. But truth to tell, I haven't even finished up my Christmas cards yet. Everything takes more energy when you are on vacation.

But school is done. We'll see how I survived, it but it is over at least!

"Steal my kisses" is the bomb!

Its this song by Ben Harper on the album, Burn to Shine. It is awesome. I am totally grooving with it this morning. Good thing too. I know my stomach could not handle any more caffeine, plus that makes me jangle. Good music just releases happy endorphins!!

That point where you just want to go

Even though you know there could be more useful preparation. You just want to take the test, or hard task. Just get it over with. Find the bad news quickly. If you are going to go down in flames, might as well good quickly.

Biology final t minus 3h15m and counting.

Sunlight apartment tour

"O'Tasty"

Menu slipped under my door this afternoon.
"O'Tasty-We serve delicious Chinese food, subs, seafood, chicken, Szechuan, Hunan." Now that is a confused restaurant. My kinda folks, though. Chinese-Irish.

Looking up. Until tomorrow

Physics final is over. Only biology left. Which is going to kick my rear. Hopefully not too much. Just plugging along and looking to a bit of difference. I am still hoping that my organic chemistry test is going to be terribly curved. Or maybe I was just more brilliant than I thought. One or the other. :)

I've reach the 100 posts mark

And my heart is racing with my first final of the season in 20 minutes. I am ready to go home and take a another shower and sleep for a few hours, maybe play and read for a bit, then study physics. Pray that this organic test in things I know. And pray that I can remember them. I would prefer not to watch my grade go down the tubes in one big bang. :) Oh, and that I don't suffer a heart attack from too much coffee this morning. Oh . . . and I would prefer not to puke during the final either. Which might be a distinct possibility just this moment.

Hopefully this will be a good start to a final testing day. The sunrise is surely lovely.

Forever onward . . .

I will always check the times of finals twice, three times. Maybe four! To double check the time, I looked just now for my final tomorrow. I thought it started at 12 noon. Thank goodness I checked. I am fairly certain this prof would be nowhere near as . . . interested in my pleading. Though the last one wasn't either. But I would like to avoid ever going through that again for sure and certain!

Tomorrow at 9am. My doom awaits.

Malia's practical christmas wishlist

#7 lead
comfortable mechanical pencils (#7 please, I break the smaller lead off pressing too hard)
3x5 note cards

Is it truly sad these things sounds really good? Don't worry. Hopefully it will pass. It is finals after all.

Annoyed . . .

I took time out and interupted my flow of study to watch my favorite current show, "Chuck" and it wasn't even on tonight. Not only was it not a new episode, which I would understand given the writers strike, but it wasn't even a rerun!! Geez guys. I hate "Deal or No Deal." Who watches it!! Urg. . . now I have to try and get back into the groove.

Poignant quotes . . .

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Marie Curie
That is definitely very true. We need to understand more so we may fear less.

Humorous rather than thoughtful. . ..
"He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet." Benjamin Disraeli
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Ronald Reagan

Sitting, studying, enjoying

I am sitting and studying. I just made myself a concoction from trader joe's mint hot cocoa, milk and espresso. Very close to a mint mocha but with less overwhelming chocolate flavor. I must say I did well. I set to start studying organic chemistry again after stopping to go out to dinner with my friend Colleen. And studying biology briefly with my mother on the phone as she drove to a dinner engagement (dad was driving, I promise that the first question I asked when she told me where she was!).

Today I saw an amazing feat (and feet). As I looked out my window at my desk cum dining table, I saw something fly toward the window of one the apartments in the building next door. From an extremely precarious branch, a squirrel had jumped to the sill. Slowly back and forth he moved, carefully inspecting for cracks, peering intently in as though he asking to be let in. He stayed in front of those windows for several minutes appearing confused why he couldn't get in. Then he scrambled on the sheer brick face of the building to the next set of windows over, repeat the routine, back and forth, searching, examining intently, confused why this wasn't working. He backtracked reluctantly, finally jumping from the perch of the window air conditioner to the spindly little branch. I held my breath as he made the jump, so precarious was the situation. However he made the leap successfully only to mournfully (at least to me) turn around to stare at the windows again, as though hoping he had been wrong before. My eyes finally left him and returned to my neglected work. Many minutes later I saw a squirrel sitting in the lee of a branch and the trunk of the tree staring at the same window.

The whole thing was so daring I applauded the intrepid little interloper-wannabe. But it did make me think twice about ever leaving my "safe" windows open again.

Friendly Reminder

Side note in organic chemistry textbook next to section disgussing properties of ethanol (grain alcohol) was this "Friendly Reminder".

"Everything is toxic in large enough amounts."

So true.

I guess I don't ...

Apparently people care about not getting bailed out. This article in the Washington Post yesterday shows anger over the possibility of mortgage freezes to help out those with adjustable rates due to change. I don't understand. People are in rough spot and getting help, and you are whining because you don't need the help too? I understand that it seems a odd. People having been losing their houses for years for debt problems and we haven't cared, but now we are bailing them out en masse. Except not. Any of these proposed ideas would only affect a few borrows and have limited scope.

I just don't get it. "I not up a creek without a paddle and I am mad because someone else is getting an oar." All of these people who would be affected are still going to be making difficult payment changes. Money is still going to be tight. Does that make you happier? They are still going to suffer.

Here are some blogs I followed links to. I was amazed. And saddened.

1) Housing panic. Avoid this first one if you are at all queezy. It contains alot of rancor and hatred.
2) Houseing doom. This one seems a lot more reasonable and contains links to many articles, websites, and other blogs. This link is to a post about a new Monopoly game
3) Seattle bubble. This one mostly last local articles.

Consider this year. . .

This is an article from today's Washington Post. Food banks are having shortfalls and increasing numbers of people applying for assistance. For some reason, this need really hit home with me.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/07/AR2007120702600.html?wpisrc=newsletter

As you think of Christmas coming up, consider making this a part of your holiday giving. Often I think of programs like toys for tots or angel tree. But even more important than gifts for children, is Christmas dinner for families. I know there are increasing numbers of people being affected by this morgage crisis and needing essential assistance like food banks to help get them through a rough patch.

Something to think about . . .

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

I would love to have taken more pictures today . .

But I always am leaving the library late and . . . no pictures. Sorry Merissa! But one great point of news (for me, anyway). I finished my last physics assignment of the semester. Now just a Organic chemistry paper and 3 finals to go and I am home free!!! Hurrah!

Oh, that lovely snow from last night left a not so lovely driving situation this morning. The temp today never got above freezing and this morning the roads were sheets of ice. I could hear them scraping Wisconsin Ave in front of my apartment at 2 Am last night. It was really good they did! As I walked to school, I thought about how incredibly likely I was to fall. But I didn't, thank the Lord. But as I was eating my luscious peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the science building today, I saw a friend with a wrist wrap. He had been walking his bike and fallen hard. Luckily nothing broken, but he did say that ER was filled with falls. The guy who sat next to him had a spiral fracture and had to be drugged up on morphine for the pain.

I promise to try not fall on the way home. D'accord?

The weather obliged and I couldn't resist . . .

A new set of real "Links to Think" or Malia's Manifesto

I told you I would feel better! And I do. Give me an hour (and a very large dose of liquid caffeine) and I can pull myself up by my boot straps!

I also did some reminding of what I am, what I want, what I want to see myself as, and see myself doing. Most of you are close friends or family. Some of you are more distant friends, or rather, friends in more distant places. I thought I would share some thoughts that sit deeply on my heart with all of you, though. Web wandering sparked this introspection. And it is good. Everyone needs to be reminded what you are doing and where you are going.

For me, the question of what I wanted to be, where I wanted to go was always certain. The pathway was uncertain, the choices getting me there difficult and nebulous. For me, I have always wanted to help people. That sounds ridiculous and idealistic. Not touching reality. Or it paints me as saintlike. That is obviously not true (said with a ruefully laugh). When I was young this desire manifested as the doctor. I wanted to be the doctor, who cured people. As I grew, so did that desire. I wanted to help people deal with their diseases. The older I grew, the more I understood, the more I saw medicine as therapy rather than cures. I wanted to be the doctor who knew how to treat patients so they would be well, if not cured then working and functioning and able to seek happiness.

I had a great teacher in high school who fed this desire, who encouraged me. He also challenged me on other levels. For some reason, even though I never got straight A's in his class, he also put "has a future in this field" on my report card. Thank you, Mr Heer. When I reached college I wanted to play and have that same future. I wanted a biochemistry and ceramics degree. But somethings derailed me. Mostly me, in retrospect. But even with 20/20 hindsight, I wouldn't change my path here. At least most days.

So I went to France to seek my future, since I thought I had watched my doctoring future go out the window when I gave up on chemistry. Actually, I saw France as second best, me giving up. I am proud of my degree in French, of the things I learned. And I am immensely grateful for the years that I grew up while studying all things French. I am grateful that I have a wider view of the world than just Seattle, that I see more than just those around me. I had always wanted to help others far and wide, but living in France was my first chance to see others far and wide. I think the culture shock was the lack of culture shock, the actual realization that "peoples is peoples" as my father would say. Other cultures may have other values and views, but in the end we are all just people.

As I looked for ways to apply my French degree, I thought of the UN or Medicins sans frontiere or World Vision. I thought of humanitarian aid. But there were many hurdles and I lacked experience in the field and the wherewithal to gain that experience. I am not brilliant and I didn't really want to work for the UN, despite Flora, my friend Mark's mom, who declared that of course I could work there. She had for many, many years. But I really wanted to do medicine, to help the body physically. And so I finally moved beyond the graduation inertia and applied myself to figuring out how to be a nurse. It was an achievable goal, worthy, interesting. My Nana was a nurse.

I became a nursing assistant and was blessed and lucky enough to work for Seattle Children's Hospital, on the Medical unit. I really can't tell you how wonderful that experience was. And how utterly unique. Many of the nurses I worked with there have since moved on to other things. If I were to return, nothing would be the same. Yet I saw there some hilarious and funny and sad things. I saw young nurses learning and a few older nurses dedicatedly working night shift still. And I realized, I wanted to know and learn. I wanted to continue learning through out my career. I wanted to be the person who helps make decisions in crisis and understands and move quickly. I realized I was a medicine adrenaline junkie. Stressful situations focused me, gave me a high. It wasn't that I enjoyed seeing children sick. It was that I enjoyed seeing children turn the corner and get better. I really like seeing how when the system work, parents and children together felt like they were part of the process, in charge and understood, even when things were not going well. I loved the hospital, the experience, the things you learned quickly because they were attached to real patients. I really enjoyed seeing the x-ray of the kid who ate metal, seeing his intestine slowly empty it from him body. Even on my worst day, I saw opportunity for growth in me, learning better for the next situation.

That is why I am here. Because that is who I want to be, I want to see myself as. I want to be a good doctor, who offers understanding to her patients and is able to help them all the more for it. I want to be a person who sees the faults of people and still offers grace. Who helps in the ways she can, and offers that help with no strings attached, with an open mind to realize that my good is not necessarily the best good. I want to change the world in my own small way. I want to change the world in my own big way.

Today I declare to myself, I am the person I thought I would be. I encourage you to be that person also.

I have changed my "Links to Think". It used to be my calendar and pictures. Now it is a new thing to learn. For you and me. Periodically I will attach a new link which addresses something. Today something I didn't know about, something sad. I promise, sometimes they will be funny. I can't help being attracted to the ridiculous and absurd. But they will always be something to further your thinking. Something to wonder, what can I do? Check them out. See what you think. And send me emails. Who do you see yourself as? I am curious.

Its snowing and I am less than excited . . .

I should be ebullient and excited. And I sorta was. But mostly I am tired and ready to get this semester over and done with. I have two last things to turn in and then finals. One is a set of physics questions on engines, work and energy. The other is an organic chemistry report. Neither of which I am that excited about or eager to finish. In addition, I don't really understand the concepts behind either assignment at all well. Net result=big kaputt. I am sick of using coffee as a double for interest. And I want to play. Mostly, I want back the 6 hours of last night that I did not sleep because I was wired and worried. I want to start today over with no headache, with more than 3 and 1/2 hours sleep, and with excitement about seeing today and the rest of the semester through.

Don't worry, I will be better later. And I will post pictures. It really is a wonderland outside. Maybe later I will be able to enjoy it.

Sad but understandable

An article from today's Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/03/AR2007120301771.html?nav=rss_health

The study published found that even though almost all (93%) of doctors said they should reports colleagues errors or incompetence, they often didn't. How sad that this is understandable? In any other profession this would be understandable and common. You would not ask lawyers to inform on each other when they went beyond the bounds. Or at least you would not expect them to do it frequently. Yet with doctors, you expect and need them to work in an atmosphere of suspicion. Obviously it would be best if doctors could be transparent with work problems. Yet would you put it out there and tell everything when you could be sued? It is human nature to cover mistakes, especially if you are getting away. If no one is noticing or at least calling you on it? Anyone have an idea? I seem to be wandering here.

Glib words bite you . . .

After I blogged so glibbly about West Coast/East Coast weather, I learned that not only was the West Coast getting snow, then sleet, but that it was also currently getting hurricane force winds and that in fact a few people died (4 at last count). Needless to say I felt bad about complaining about our measley 25-50 mph winds. I mean, when the Washington DC news covers the Northwest, which I generally think they would like to fall off along with California, you know bad stuff is happening! I-5 closed. Its the end of civilization for Seattle!

I still jest, but it is serious, I hope my family is well. I can't imagine losing family so abruptly from something so inconsistent and unexpected as winds and weather.

Well, I am off to study some more . . . as usual. Pretty much all I do these days. Study. Just as it should be. But come December 18th, I am free as a bird! (for three weeks any way!)

Heavy heart . . .

For those of you who know about all of the people in my life who are struggling with things, please be praying. For those of you who don't, pray anyway. God takes even prayers that are "undirected." For those of you who are now worrying for my sanity based on the last two sentences, fear not. It is as intact as it ever was. Which is to say not at all.

The saints among you, pray. Many thanks.

Frankie sings Christmas and I do laundry

----------------
Now playing: Frank Sinatra - I'll Be Home for Christmas (If Only In My Dreams)
via FoxyTunes

Going to do laundry and study but wanted to share to Christmas moment.

Booger.com and blogger.com are not the same. . .

In typing quickly, I encountered this error. Although it does make sense. Booger does not equal blogger.

Today it is extremely windy. Predicted 25-50 mph winds, although I am not sure whether we have reached that yet. The leaves that still cling tenaciously to the trees are quickly being battered into releasing their hold on Fall and submitting to the coming winter. The ironic thing is that here I am on the East coast preparing for cold weather and Seattle, land of mild winters, already has had their first snow fall! And the winter has been in force for quite some time!

How does that happen?

More New York pictures

I really wanted to get these on here because they are so great. So here they are belatedly. Yes, Samantha, I put pictures of you for the world to see. Too bad!

These are those balls that I kept seeing. Samantha and I found them in Central Park. They really do look like severe head trauma if you were accidentally hit with one. Or not so . . . accidentally . . . thrown!

You know your water is hard when . . .

After not using it for a whole day and a half, the shower diverter is hard crusted in crystals and won't turn on without being hit by a hammer (nicely of course). Problem solved.

On other problems solved note, many of you have been eagerly follow (and laughing at) my saga with the hole punch. Well yesterday proved a continuation. After studying for hours at school, I decided to make a quick trip downtown to an office supplies store to pick up a heavier duty hole punch. Unfortunately, the bus system was against me. First the right bus did not come, and I improvised, taking another bus in the same general direction, because I couldn't stand waiting after watching 3 other buses go by. I got off in front of the White House, which now sports a giant red bow (I will take a picture soon, I promise!) and walked over to K street, which has become a sort of nemesis for me, I must admit. After walking up and down, stopping for Starbucks and directions, I took the bus the rest of the way down to Union Station in hopes of finding the Office Max or something. Finally I settled for FedEx Kinko's which the confused barista informed was just like an office supply store.

They did have a Swingline hole punch, and an irate customer complaining loudly that she was being charged for the cover sheet of all her faxes when it had Kinko's logos on it. So I waited. Patiently. Because I understand frustration and employees just trying to survive through it. But then came the tipper, because the employee then took me over to the other counter and moved to the back where the other 6 employees were now congregated talking. And I stood there, waiting, as other employees passed me standing there, and ignored me. And the others stood at the back chatting as the first employee tried to get another one's attention. And this situation remained stable and inactive for at least 10 minutes. Because all I really want was to take the money out of my wallet and leave it on the counter. I just wanted to go home.

When my wait ended with no apology, I left annoyed. But worse was to come. Because I waited for the bus. And waited. And waited. When relief finally seemed in sight, I felt close to tears. It had become a three plus hour tour. To get a hole punch!! And the stupid bus was full so it passed our stop and kept going without picking anyone up. So finally after waiting an hour and 15 minutes I gave up and started walking home. And there I had it. My hole punch. Which I didn't even want any more! Not really but still!! Oh, and I almost beat the bus home. An empty not in service bus passed me as I started to walk past Mass. Ave and then right behind it was another bus, packed to the gills with the other folk like me who kept thinking that if they just waited a few more minutes, the bus would surely come. So at 5 o'clock, commuters aplenty, 14 buses did not arrive on schedule.

I joked to my friend Danielle as I complained about the whole silly fiasco, "what am I going to do, write a strongly worded letter?" This is my strongly worded letter.

Pretty good today, inspite of it all

I sent out this mass email to try and update my addresses to be able to send out Christmas cards. Which I soo will not get to until after finals. I am basically at the point where I am wishing that I wasn't so attached to sleep. But unfortunately I am. That and eating pretty much get me through my day. :) Not completely true, but physiologically!

As an update to a recent note about buying a hole punch. The hole punch broke last night after only being used three times. So now I guess I will have to use it as a chew toy. As Marc commented, finals are coming up. A good chew toy may come in handy! So I am forced to go in search of another hole punch that will survive the test of time, or at least not die within days like its predecessor. Right now the stack of note card sits wrapped in a hair band, 1500 thick, waiting to spread across my apartment as the next mess to be cleaned!

The "hole" experience has annoyed me on two levels. One being the fact I will have to go somewhere that will actually sell a better one. The other being that I spent $1.50 that could have gone to coffee! Very sad, very sad.

Leaving the library . . . . hopefully not too soon!

I am so proud of myself. I studied after physics lab. Which always drains me and makes me mad!! But today my lab partner and I booked it out of there and I studied successfully for 4 hours. Pretty good. Then again I also spent 2 and 1/2 hours doodling around, rating movies on Netflix and playing. Which some how made time fly!! Ugh! But now I will leave the library because my ipod is running out of batteries after being played for hours on end!!

On to quick dinner of last nights leftover ham and scalloped potatoes and more studying, for the physics test tomorrow!

Answer to prayer. . .

A friend of mine since high school has been going through a rough time with a aggressive form of cancer. Monday after many rounds of chemo, he finally had surgery to remove the tumors and it was successful. They are very optomistic about his outlook. Which is a praise the Lord! Ben seems to be coming through much better than expected. Check out his blog at http://802heaven.analogcafe.net/ . Lately his wife has been the writer for sure, but he always has interesting thoughts.

If you could, keep him in your thoughts and prayers too? All of it can help.

Wonderful picture

This is the picture of my wonderful parents in front of their newly decorated house. Isn't it great! Christmas is here.

Second, this is just warning. If I don't call you or respond to your call in anything approaching a timely fashion until the 18th, I am desperately sorry. But I have finals in less than two weeks and I figured out that I have to review at least a chapter and a section of orgo and biology respectively for at least a that long. How bad is that?! So basically I went to buy a half pound of Christmas blend Starbucks and a I am considering investing in full pound before the week is over. I love you all. And do call. I enjoy know that you are thinking of me . . . but sorry if I don't get back to you right away.

I hate ...

getting kicked, even when I deserve it.

Pictures are in a funny spot

I realized yesterday that all the pictures I posted were in weird places on the page. I was unable to fix them to my satisfaction, but I did get rid of the large amount of extra space. Then today revisited and it looks all smooshed with the words running along side and everything. Isn't it nice to have something useless to worry about?

Going to study biology. The nervous system and some immune system review. Oh yeah!

Chinese deals

Do you know I just bought a hole punch for $1.50? Which means the store bought it for way less even. Made in China. Is it any wonder they put lead in different products? What else can you afford to make it of? After all, lead would be one of the cheapest materials to buy, because no one wants it!

I think I am safe, even if there is lead in my hole-punch. After all, its not like I am going to be using it as a chew toy. And thank goodness for cheap deals on something. Good pencils cost $5!

Another day, another class

The year is winding down, and I look forward to seeing home, seeing many friends get married (stop with the engagements already, I can't take any more!) and enjoying a whirlwind Christmas break with family. Although I already anticipate returning to DC January 4 much more tired than I left it. New York this weekend was an excellent break but back to the job at hand.

The leaves are still falling from the trees and the weather varies fairly widely from day to day. I feel somewhat obsessed by the weather since I moved here. I think because it is a very different feel from Seattle. The Northwest has its own micro climate, with things brewing up from the Pacific. But we don't ever watch weather in Wisconsin to see what next week is going to look like. The District does. The weather here comes from plains states and the Atlantic, from New York and Tennessee. It is truly strange. It gives you a wider appreciation of the country.

Alright, I am rambling and saying nothing. I will return to studying and go the Organic Chem class.

New York after Thankgiving!

These are some of pictures of Samantha and I in New York this weekend. I really enjoyed the time off and away from DC and even from Seattle. Nothing to do but enjoy (and study, yes, yes). But we also caught a movie, Disney's Enchanted, which I have to say I throughly enjoyed. Partly because it had Patrick Dempsey aka McDreamy. It also had fun with the ridiculous concepts of love Disney style, with happily everafters guaranteed. You may think of Steven Sondheim's musical "Into the Woods," but this was definitely not as dark ending. This one had a happy ending as well as a measure of unreality but was still really enjoyable. I thought it was a pretty good kid movie too!

We went shopping yesterday I got some very enjoyable items, filled in some more holes of my Christmas gifts. I am really looking forward to giving these away! We stopped to look at the unlit Rockefeller Christmas tree. There were thousands of people in the area and trying to take a picture. It was crazy. Which continued as we walked north. Good thing we had filled up with Olive Garden earlier, soup and salad and bread sticks. We stopped at the Apple store, as I said yesterday. But fairly quickly moved into Central Park where I took some of the later pictures of the arch and leaves falling. We tried to catch tea at Alice's tea shop on 73rd, but the wait was long and we settled for Starbuck's across the street.

Topped with a Barnes and Noble stop, a dinner at a Chinese restaurant interestingly named "Ollie's" which was busy but fun, and then a movie, it was a wonderful after Thanksgiving day.

In New York with Samantha

And it is really starting to get East Coast cold. I decided that since I had never been in to FAO Schwartz, we would try there. But  . . .  a long line started around the block and that idea fell by the wayside. I wasn't going to buy anything . . .  all of New York is starting to get all hopped up for Christmas. It is a very different change from Thanksgiving with Hope and the girls which was very laid back. And nice. I am feeling excited to get home and finish out my year strong in school. Really make a serious showing in my classes.

The trip up yesterday was very quick. I can't laugh enough about the great deal that are the Chinatown bus lines. 35 dollar round trips just seems insane. How can you make money at that? 

I will post pictures from up here tomorrow when I get home. Right now I am typing from Apple store which is really a cool structure. I am impressed. Then I think a quick walk through Central Park to walk off the Olive Garden lunch. And the enjoy the crisp air. I think I will definitely have opportunity to use my new "cashmere" scarf I bought to interchange with the wool one  I have been wearing so frequently already. I am impressed the wool one has done so well, since Mom and I bought them with Dad in DC my sophomore year in high school. That is a really long time ago!

Sorry for the scattered thoughts. I will talk more coherently again soon! 

Later . . . after the turkey.

Quite a bit fuller after eating lots of turkey, these are family pictures and a few more of the girls around the lake. I thought about taking a picture of the pumpkin pie, but the concept of even looking at another bit of food hurts my over full stomach. Isn't wonderful for all of us that Thanksgiving only come once a year! May everyone be so blessed today.

Thanksgiving day!

PS. there are more pictures posted on Picasa Web albums. Just click on the link to My Pictures!

Things are . . . going. But today is Thanksgiving. And for that I am truly thankful. We all need the rest and recuperation. Some time to rest. Here are some pictures is the day so far.

In Starbucks

There is a man sitting here, in Starbucks. He was asleep when I came in, quietly over in the corner, a newspaper lay in his lap and piled, obviously read, at his feet by the gas fire. He looked like everyone else enjoying the quiet Starbucks away from the bustling street. Then I noticed his slippers, and grayed from use pants. And a carryall with thick, black tape around the corners and several holes. He woke quietly, shifting to sit up straighter. He started reading and alternating through parts of the paper. Picking them up, looking through, and settling for moment with the paper 6 inch from his face. The New York Times. A rough looking garment bag, similarly patched with tape sat under his chair. Despite his obvious lack of wealth, he seemed to fit with the aura of the room, occasionally glancing nervously about as he searched for an unread portion of the paper, squinting to see just like the other lady in the corner, the one who belatedly pulled out her reading glasses. The background noise of the room is the tapping of laptop keys and two middle aged Scandinavian men, apparently discussing business, amicably. All else is quiet. Restful. The tired man from the corner stands and moves to leave, quietly murmuring to me, “Take care.” No accent. I wonder. Lord bless that man, wherever he goes.

Would you love to see someone beaned by one of these?

I see this (or something similar) everyday as I walk to school, since fall start. I have been meaning to take a picture of one. I remember running to school in the wind during fall semester at the UW trying to dodge falling horse chestnuts on 17th, trying to avoid a minor concussion on my way to learn. Apparently many schools have this ritual. Although the winds haven't been back here, I would pay money to watch people walk to school here during the height of this fruit season and high winds. This is a picture of a London plane tree. I will have to give you a picture of the ones I see on the ground. Think softball size. If the horse chestnuts could serious dent my car, I think these ones could break my head!

What tree is that?

So I was looking for something that I wanted to post here on my blog, but I wanted to know the name of it and I ran across this fantastic site. http://www.arborday.org/trees/treeID.cfm It is a tree identification tool for East or West. You answer yes or no questions about the tree, leaf shape and texture, etc. and it winnows down the possiblities for you until you get the name of the tree you are searching for! Isn't that so cool? Check it out!

Rain and tests

You know how I kept wanting it to rain? Well today its raining, and its great, really. Except my new shoes are wet and so are my socks now. The major 'fashion' trend over here is to wear rain boots, whenever it rains! I guess it is so funny to me because we could just wear the same shoes all winter in Seattle. It definitely seems to be fashion statement. Then again, so do scarves, even when its not cold enough outside to need them. Yesterday I saw someone in full winter regalia: wool scarf, wool long coat, black pants, leather boots. It looks beautiful. And about 25 degrees too hot. It was 68 degrees yesterday. I wore short sleeves and a light jacket and was stinkin' warm for most of the day.

Isn't it funny

So I am slightly behind in my classes and I should be going nuts. But I am happy. Because today my hair is still wet from my shower, but lookin' good! I won't be going to the mirror frequently to check this, because it could be an illusion. I would rather look funny, and think I am looking good, than know I am looking good and be often making sure of it! There is your convoluted thought for the day.

PS. I may have a coffee addiction. I have really development an enjoyment for it. And I have time line for dealing with . . . growing dependence. The day after I finish my last medical residency I will look into 12 step coffee programs. But for now . . . its good to feel awake and joyful.

Today I pick up the pieces after losing my mind yesterday

Today I woke very late (yes, Samantha, I need you as an alarm to get me out the door on time). And missed the first few minutes of biology after running around my apartment and boiling over the coffee I needed to get me going, I realized my organic chem lab manual (for the second time in the semester!) and my umbrella. Luckily my umbrella I found on the bus, properly stowed away in my bag! The lab manual is still at large.

I am freaked out. Some. Alot. I have signed up for biochemistry and organic chemistry and physics for next semester. Hope and pray with me that I can do well. I know it will go quickly because this semester has absolutely flown by. I actually wish it would slow down some!

On a happy note, I seem to have kicked to cold without having really ever gotten the full blown version! My sinus feel pretty clear, no headache, and less post-nasal drip. Good times.

Slacking on the blogging. . . ugh, that rhymes

So I have been slacking on the blogging. I am sorry. Things have been going ok. Just bumping along. I have had a wonderful new addition to my housekeeping routine, namely a bialetti coffee pot. For those of you unfamiliar it is a on stove coffee maker that heats the water up through the grounds into the top compartment. This makes really wonderful coffee without the bitter after taste of french press or some of the other options that have water spending too long on the grounds. It also makes pretty strong coffee. And I can now down it with the best of them! I am drinking way more, which is bad, I know.

On other fronts, tests start again this week. A little early because of the holiday. So friday is a bio test again and monday another orgo test. I am soooo excited about the fact the end of the semester is coming soon. Time has really flow by. I am just praying really hard that I unexpectedly get really, really, really good grades this semester. I know that if I did, it would be undeserved at this point. I have just been squeaking by.

Samantha came this weekend after all. Which I have really enjoyed. Having a best friend around to do nothing with (or something) is nice. Comfortable. Except when she yells at you in the morning to get to school on time like today. Which I did. First time in a long time that I have gotten to physics before he started lecturing. Don't you hate it when people are right!?

Mom went home on Wednesday, which was hard because that was also fun and convenient. But probably a little bad for the studying, although she did get me on track with my biology lab and helped me sound out alot of ideas for a paper I wrote on disparity in healthcare (don't ask me anything about that right now, I will talk forever and be really frustrated and mad at how bad it really is. Maybe in a few months I will calm down!)

I am really tired. I wish I could just feel like I am running at normal speed at least 25% of the time but I feel like I rarely hit my good stride. I found a job at National Children's Hospital which would be on call assisting shifts in the Heme-Onc ward. I am thinking about applying. It maybe good to get me back in my stride at a hospital. Remind me that I really am good at high stress situations. Alright I am an adrenaline junky who needs a fix, but can you blame me!?

Oh, pray that this cold that has been hanging around will not fully develop. I need all the energy I can get.

Writing a paper . .

You know what happens when you write a paper on an interesting topic? You learn too much about it and can't keep it down to 4 pages. Who asks for a 4 page paper any way? Honestly, that is nothing! Especially when you are asking a class full of students intending to go into medicine about medical ethics and issues.

Mom went home yesterday. It was a wonderful time. I have been trying to upload pictures and videos but my stupid Comcast internet goes down every time I try to do anything big. I am determined to find a new provider but that would involve time . . . and that is in short supply.

I am . . . ok. I am hoping to go well here. I am hoping to pull something out, but . . . its been a rough semester.

In other things, family life has been a bit interesting. Cross your fingers or pray. I want peace to reign again in all my acquaintances, friends, and family. No more crisis.

Sometimes

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
- Philip K. Dick

The crazy quotient is high, and Mom is coming today

So the tests are over. I survived. We'll see. On a seriously more entertaining note, yesterday started "Malia's crazy people encounters and other odd happenings." I spent a wonderful weekend with Hope and the girls and Terry. Yesterday I helped cook a country breakfast for dinner after shopping around at Target and running into Wegman's (which is the coolest grocery store ever, by the way). Hope dropped me off at the bus stop at the airport, as usual. There was lots of folks waiting and huddling around, still adjusting to the temperature, which was cold. And this guy asked me about the metro. He seemed strange. He asked when the bus was coming and then announced to me and the other guy next to me that he needed to go to the bathroom. And then he walked off, leaving all his stuff behind just sitting there!

As we all trooped on the bus, I asked to driver a question and he said he didn't know because this was his first run of that route. But I didn't expect him to get lost leaving the airport! He took the wrong exit and everyone yelled for him to pay attention. He stopped the bus (pretty sure he didn't even pull off to the side) and told everyone it was his first time and told them to stop yelling at him! The he turned off all the bus lights as he backed up the freeway ramp into oncoming traffic. And the full bus load of people sat there muttering and wondering what was going to happen next as we reversed 200 feet.

After getting on the correct tollway and the lights coming back on and crossing 4 lanes of traffic, we went in circles at the park and ride for a while, as the strange guy from the bus stop started shifting around, putting on his sunglasses, turning and staring at people, at me. A woman in the back of the bus started a cell phone conversation with her grandma which got progressively louder until she was shouting the same sentence over and over. "Granma, he didn't know you was there!" I was profoundly grateful to get off the bus at Rosslyn, brushing by a belligerent homeless guy trying to get on the bus without money.

At this point I was hoping for a quiet finish home. And it was really, just a crazy guy wandering around the metro with large gold plastic bag on his head, with the handles looped around his ears. Oh, and the renaissance dressed picketers. There was a colonial era town crier, standing near there as well, with oil lamp and everything. Also hold a sign. But other than that, relatively normal. :)

So today, I am glad to be in class, with the privileged Georgetown students. Avoiding the weirdness. Except for on the bus drive this morning, where a fight almost erupted between two elderly citizens that were cane dependent. And the bus almost got plowed into by a Jag. You know. The usual!

Frankly, school work is looking good! Mom's coming this afternoon and I am hoping all the crazies go into hiding by then. I really want her visit to go well. I felt like this last time when she came to meet me in Paris. There was a garbage strike on for well over a week before she arrived. Just what you want to see of Paris. Garbage. Luckily it ended that morning and it was almost gone by the afternoon. Pray the same thing happens!

Malia desperately not studying physics but . . .

Ok, so I should be studying, I admit. But I just downloaded Firefox instead, while I was playing around. It is really cool. I am pretty impressed. Any, will actually be studying now . . . I promise.

Also found this quote today. Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
- Kin Hubbard. Which I don't really believe. All the time any way!

Planner Update!

I bought a new planner for 2008. For those of you who are yawning already, go away. I have used the same type of planner for years. I really like the outline. But I realized a couple of days ago that I need something that can plan by the hour for more hours and my current planner only goes from 8am-5pm. My schedule needs more organization. What I really need is planner with the whole 24hours of the day available to schedule out. But that is not readily available on the market . . . .So I am going to try the "Time:Master" planner, which had the added excitement of being 5 dollars cheaper than my old one. It is bigger but it comes in a nice pattern. You know, I probably should get a PDA, but I keep waiting for them to be cheaper. And the internet access to be cheaper, and basically I want a future version of the Iphone (one with longer battery life) and better network. But I definitely can't afford that.

Net result: I got a new daily planner which I am excited about using.

3,2,1 Soon my physics test will be done!

I am hoping that today's physics test will go well. Organic went . . . well I am still alive. The teacher told us yesterday that the average was 65%, with the range from 90% to 10%. Over course the grades are curved, but as someone reminded me just a few minutes ago, even a 10% shows some level of studying. How sad is that? I mean, really really tragic. I guess I am really just hoping for something survivable. I would laugh if I got a good grade. The bio test came back not so good. I made a lot of mistakes and took a hit on the essay. I am determined to make this a turning point for studying, becoming anal-retentive about time and organizing study. The probability of me being overly organized is probably low, but still. Something needs to happen.

On the plus note (one of the only plus notes this week. It has been a rough week) my mom is coming on Monday. Which means that tonight I need to finish some other homework and clean my refrigerator, and my bathroom. Everything else I can accomplish Sunday night after getting back from Hope's, but I really want my apartment to look nice. Sorry Samantha and Robin, I kinda didn't worry about this when you guys came.

I think this week being particularly rough has been growing. I am hoping it will get me back on track and with it.

The front side attack!

Otherwise known as Orgo Test today. (Front side attack is reference to the placement of attack in reactions that will be on the test today). I am hoping that the reading on the topic that I have done (which took me forever) will carry me through the huge amount of understanding required for this topic. I feel truly overwhelmed with the amount I need to known to complete these problems comfortably. Once again I am going in hoping for the best and expecting a bit of the worst. We'll see.

Sorry for the third video being so short. I have tried several times to upload it and can't seem to get the whole thing on there. Oh well. On another housekeeping note, I want you all to know that I do not in anyway support Comcast(if any of you accidently work for comcast, am sorry!). My internet, the one that I already pay to much for, is so slow, that what took me only seconds to do at school, takes twenty to thirty minutes at home!! And school internet is free!!! Needless to say, I am thinking of switching my provider away from Comcast because I can't take it anymore!! I pay for fast internet and good cable tv and get neither AND they always overcharge me!

Honestly, its just something else to worry over instead of orgo. Going to study now. Will update you later.

Part Deux

Didn't have time last night to upload part two! This is the backside of the apartment.

Today it has returned to sunny. Orgo lab over and biology lab to come. I love performing experiments, but I am not really fantastic at writing them up. Ah well, what you gonna do?

On another note, I think Starbucks has now turned to adding crack to the coffee. Cuz gosh darn it I felt good after that morning cuppa! I felt intoxicated. Now after several hours the effect has worn off. But man, was that fun! Caffeine, the legal addictive stimulant. So I am drinking another cup. I really don't expect it to be as good this time. It's from the coffee stand at school.

Pray (or cross your fingers). My organic test monday night is looming large. I am pretty far behind in understanding and I need to catch up today. I feel like I have been taking vacation from reality but still showing up to school, which means I haven't gottten school work done or feel like I have truly taken a vacation. The ultimate in time waster!

I will publish part 3 of last night's video in the next post. I suppose that if I am going to try doing this video thing I should use a webcam and not my real camera, which takes such huge video file that I can even post a full minute at a time. But it sorta works!

(PS. No, even I am not sure what is up with my extensive use of exclamation points. I can't seem to stop it.)

Le troisieme video

There it is. If this is more popular, I may try doing more video segments. Its more fun to watch someone, although I do appreciate the self-censoring of seeing your written words.

Enjoy your saturdays for me, ok?

Rain, rain, beautiful rain

Today it rained for the first time in 34 days!! I love it.
I also bought something that inspired the below videos.

The backworks of the apartment!

Biology test tomorrow

And we'll see how she blows. I don't have sense of urgency about this round of tests at all. Which puts my preparation on a serious low. I took a nap yesterday, which was really nice. But not very productive.

So I am back at it today. Have I mentioned lately how little I understand from either Orgo or physics lectures? Well pretty much don't learn anything from them. Luckily I struggle through the book. Oh well. Such is life.

Tests again . . .

It doesn't seem possible, but its again time for another round of test, a Thursday to Thursday week of academic recall goodness. I do love bio and that is first. So I trying to relax and study for all three tests with a laid back attitude that will allow all the information to go in the and the stomach to rest. We'll see. I think before I am too terribly old I will be buying anti-acids left and right. I think like most people, I put my stress in my stomach: sometimes by not eating, sometimes by over eating. Which in the end, really levels everything out anyway, doesn't it? For those of you worried about these things (namely my mother) no I am not losing more weight. Right now the stress eating is way out "weighing" (harhar, aren't I funny!) the stress not being able to eat. Which is ok. I can live with that.

For this day, anyway, things have settled a bit. My cousin Hope is on day 2 of the job she is not sure if she will like or survive through. I am praying that she will be able to see the whole thing as this cool challenge she just can't resist surmounting. She is so amazingly capable with everything that I just can't see her not doing pretty well. But what I know and what she thinks are different things. That is always the case.

Well, I should be off. You know, studying and learning and getting ahead and the like. We'll see, won't we!? Tonight I am excited because I have things ready to make chicken Parmesan. But what do you do as the side dish for that? I am going broccoli with everything because it tastes good and I can buy a pound frozen at Trader Joe's for something like $1.09. Its fantastic. But otherwise? Potatoes? Bread? what? I am just not sure. Have to think about it for a while.

And wonderful other news for me (not so good for Dad!). Mom is coming to visit. I am so excited. It will be really fun to have her around. And she is coming right after the round of tests so hopefully I will have some down time to hang out and relax with her. I am so excited! Another visitor!

Another round of quotes

"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." Doug Larson
"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space." Douglas Adams
"We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can." Cullen Hightower

Saturday, just another day of the week!

Well today was just another day of the week, another day of classes. But it went fairly well. In orgo lab we isolated caffeine from tea. There was not that much in there! I am definitely not gonna set up a home lab to do that for sure, but it was fun. I hate doing the lab write ups and being in lab on Saturday, but the organic lab itself is fun. You get to swirl things around and isolate drug compounds, and play with hazardous materials and distill products down.

Tonight I am to meet with some friends and hang out, which should be fun. And I am going to mass tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to. Its another round of tests starting this thursday. Hope and pray for me.

For those who have been worrying because I fell, I am doing ok. I ache all over but it will pass. And the bruises are not as bad as I thought they would be. My eyes are still on the red side and I continue wearing my glasses, but that's ok. It fits with how tired I have been. Kinda feels slow like me.

Today will already be too long

Today started out well. And I am determined to finish it well, if you must know. I woke on time to listen to NPR as considered getting out of bed. And remembered to eat breakfast. My eyes are still partially red, so glasses for the third day in a row. A pain, but adjustment can be made. I was late, as usual, running close to the time to leave. In fact the day started normally. I remembered everything I needed before I left the building, and I even threw on makeup as last ditch effort to look good, or at least normal.

However I did manage to be considerably late by that point, waiting in the abruptly changed weather conditions, shivering in my sweater, hoping to bus wouldn't take too terribly long. And then I fell, collapsed as it were, down a small set of stairs in front of someone. It was definitely embarrassing. And it really hurt. And the pants are new! Never been worn before!

I arrived as school 20 minutes late, and tried to quietly enter class (which I was not so successful at) and as soon as I sat down, my whole body ached. My neck, back, knees, ankles, and the top of my foot suddenly felt intimately every place where they had respectively made improper contact with something, an yank that was out of the normal.

So now I am tired and running on less sleep and I ache. Which is bad. It is all combining to urge me to just go to sleep instead of trying to face this particular day, at just this precise moment. Which is the reason it is bad, because I have a large amount of work to do today. And needs must it get done today, so tomorrow I can run over it in my mind. We'll see how it works.

That was an utter lot of nothing. Sorry.

Nothing much so musings instead . . .

So today is the joy of orgo and physics (luckily no physics lab!! Hurrah!!!!!). And I am meeting with some classmates to discuss our orgo lab. But I thought I would fill you all in on the remnant of an internal debate after a guest speaker in biology class yesterday who talked about the need for universal healthcare. She made several very valid points, but one problem I had with her was a comment she made about acute care. I wrote this yesterday trying to untangle my thoughts. Needless to say, they are still seriously tangled.

I believe in universal healthcare. I want everyone to be covered. But a choice between my family's acute care needs and some other person preventative care, it is only natural that I will choose my family. I think that is a natural inclination of man, to take care of those we love above the common good. And yet, to me the common good is a comprised of single people. And if we take care of everyone but no one well, are we really doing what's best. Prevention should be a bigger focus, of this there can be no doubt. Care for the poor, and underrepresented. But should we sacrifice acute care for that purpose. Admittedly it is horrendously expensive. And has lower positive outcome. Does that make it less worthy and needed? There is something in me that cannot abandon forward medical progress.

There was story recently of a little boy in DC who died of an abcess tooth because doctors refused to care for him because the need was so small, the problem so little. And yet he died. There is grave inequity in medicine. I am horrified by the statistics of 1% infant mortality rate in affluent urban areas, and 20% just 15 miles away. This is not just wrong, it is an affront to everything right and good. Whoever would say that we are now completely equal, I dare them to see that statistic and explain away why these numbers are completely in poor areas, why these are most, if not all, racial minorities. And yes, before you ask, they cannot be explained all by "lifestyle differences."

So where do I stand? I have no idea. I cannot think of the baby at the hospital who lives because of recent medical advancement, who is most likely to never make it past age 2. Can I deny that there is something worthy to fight there? That the struggle for his life is of less importance than the possible emphasis of other unknown childrens' wellness visits? How can you prioritize life and death? I believe that is why we treat medicine in the US as a sickness state, instead of a wellness state. We triage and treat the worst problems first. And since the need is so massive, we never get beyond the worst need. Preventative rarely comes into it. How can we ever find the time or money for it?

And then . . .

I had a lovely weekend of rest and family and gladly arrived home yesterday night only to run into two annoying but not life threatening problems. I left my phone charger at Hope's so my source of outside/family/friend contact is threatening to end as the battery flashes red warnings (my phone is dying). The second is just appearance: my left eye is completely bloodshot. Every vein and small capillary is apparent. Now for the times in the past when I avoided looking at someone with a similar problem, I am in horror. It really is just annoying. It doesn't hurt, though I do have some serious conjuntivitis, but this always looks soo bad. Hey, at least I don't have to look at me!

Other than that, life is fine. Just puttering along trying to get school work done. I am excited because an old friend of mine has just moved out here to the DC metro area. I am looking forward to seeing her for the first time in a very long time.

I am keeping up my spirits and enjoying the completely unusual and unseasonable warmth this year. Pray or keep your fingers crossed (whichever you do): I think I am getting a cold and I am really just not down with that (in other words, I just do not have the time!).

Long time, no blog.

Well, after surviving all my tests, my push to push seems to have momentarily dissappeared. As a result, it seems like a really good thing that this weekend is a long one. My first two legitimate days off in a row since school started.

Needless to say I am looking for somethings that will releave the stress quickly and without money. I am certain to be searching for a while.

Just to reassure all those who thought thtere was a possibility of me not being me for even a short period of time, no worries, still just me!

This weekend I am laying low with family. It should be really great. But I am determined to get my study on.

Almost done

With physics due tomorrow. And at the unprecedented hour of 3:40pm!! Well, I have two problems left. But still. Pretty good.

I introduced Merissa to iGoogle, the personalized Google homepage, today. And she sent me this. I thought it was so shockingly beautiful I would share. Isn't creation amazing? No matter what you believe in, there certainly are somethings that are completely and utterly amazing.

Hey, at least I didn't bomb it!

Well, got the orgo test back. Got a B, which was class average and curved. I would like better but at least I didn't totally suck. I will need to work my rear off to get even that good next time. All the new concepts are totally weird. I want a fantastic grade, not just a good grade. You know?

This is my motto for sure

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. - Aaron McGruder

Well, to keep you up. I took my physics test, which was substantially easier than I anticipated and did well, I hope. I am fairly certain. I always took a mini "vacation" from class on Friday, which I paid for that same night as I tried to catch up with work for labs that I had been putting off until tests were over. I will . . . I am determined to be more together for next month's round of tests.

After getting only an hour of sleep Friday night, however, I was pretty slow by Saturday afternoon. I determined to take a nap before going and staying the night with Hope. My nap turned into a nights sleep, after waking to tell Hope I wasn't going far.

I feel good. And determined to do even better next time. I have yet get my Orgo test back. Most likely tomorrow. That will be a depressing one, but at least the other two went well!!
Hurrah for me!

It seems premature to be seeing Christmas in sight already, but I do. Its almost Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas. I love the Fall. Holidays all in a row!!

Well, its late, and I need to try and not lose sleep without reason. Store it up for other good purposes.

Biology test back!

And I did well. It could have been better with one problem I know, but the prof said I was right on target. Onward and upward!!! I like A.!

Keeping up in pictures

Just thought I would share my good deal of yesterday. And an attempt at catching the beauty of the Cathedral.

Once again . . . short

The excitement in my life is small. Yesterday I rented my flexcar and decided to tryout the "sports car" which was the same price. Turned out it was a mini cooper! It was really fun to drive, and had lots of fun features. I wouldn't buy one, however. The car is arrogant. I didn't shut the truck hard enough so it wouldn't let me start the car! And at one point it complained for a solid 10 minutes about not a seat belt not being buckled. It wasn't mine. I was right and tight. However my monumentally large bag on the side passenger seat was apparently heavy enough to bug the sensor!

In other news, I also spent the day with my cousin Hope, found some really good deals at Target and . . . . got a microwave!!! Now I can eat microwave frozen dinners with the rest of Americans! Its not my plan, however. I am mostly excited about popcorn and defrosting meat and vegetables at the last minute! It looks very cute and settled and it was a fantastic deal. Hurrah!

All right. Must off to physics lab and the like. Tomorrow is that test at 6PM. Hopefully it will go monumentally well. I need it after the last two. I didn't bomb (I think) bio and orgo, but you never really know until you get the grade.

I met the cute guy!

The one in hall who talked to me a week or two ago. I saw him again just now and smiled (like I do at everyone . . . ) and he asked my name. Which was awfully brave considering I keep meeting him going in to the bathroom. He is really cute! I still have a test, and I may fail, but some random guy thinks I cute. It can't be that bad of a day!

Today organic chem. . . tomorrow the world!!!

I promise to write more tonight. But I am studying up for my evening organic chemistry test. And lets face it, it scares me when I see people in the library studying for the same test and I don't know what the heck they are doing!!! Pray for me. Now back to the molecular erector set.

Always good to know

I finished my biology test. Its always good to know walking out of a test that you definitely seriously lost points on at least 1 question. Totally pretty much didn't know it. Not completely at all, but close enough. Hopefully I will make up for it everywhere else, where I thought I did relatively good, if I do say so. We'll see if that is borne out in the future score.

I got enough sleep last night to feel pretty ok today, which I must say is a real improvement over yesterday, where I felt like I was going to fall over. But what can you say. I am still standing today. Thats all you can ask for.

Only physic and orgo to go today. And an organic chem lab report and prelab. Ugh. Hopefully I will survive that!

So I wish . . .

This is one of those days that I wish I was an insomniac. Instead I feel like I am narcoleptic, just on the edge of falling asleep all day. Tomorrows the biology test and I still have alot to cover. Hopefully it will get done and get in my head.

I am hoping to see my friend Missa this weekend. She is nearby. There is so much studying to be done. But I am trying to not sacrifice friendship and life for school. We'll see. Ask me next week Friday after all these tests are over whether this is all a good idea. I expect my perspective to be different than it was last week.

Its all about surviving. If I can do that, then I triumph.

I refuse

I refuse to fail physics. And last night I actually learned something and put it all together and did well!! Now I just have to get through all these tests coming up and survive those with grace.

On the friends and family front, things are still a lot bumpy. Crisis seems to pop up everywhere around me. But so far I am doing well. Things come in waves. I feel some guilt for doing well.

Last night I celebrated my triumph in physics by cooking up a some steak I bought on sale two days ago. It was fantastic. Coupled with a sweet potato with loads of brown sugar and butter and finished off with Krusteaz lemon bars, it was a great way to end a day. The best part was the physics triumph, but the steak came in close second. With lots of A-1.

New plan . . .

For every physics problem I solve, I get a Hershey's Kiss with a macadamia nut. I think it will work well.

Large coffee+studying during the day=very large no-no

Let me tell you, coffee in Malia before a long stint of studying in the library=very bad idea. I am jittery and ready for a run and I need to sit down and do physics homework. Ugh!!!!

Malia being Malia

So after my last post on Saturday I planned on getting some things done around the house, namely laundry. So freshly scrubbed, wet hair pulled back and jammy pants on, I left my apartment. What I forgot was my keys. And I had the door set to lock automatically. What woe is mine!

So down the hall I trudged, to the neighbor whom I have met only briefly. He was very nice and let me use his phone to call the emergency number. And let me hang around with him and his friend eating nachoes and drinking a lovely red wine. In my pajama bottoms. It was not the highlight of my career as an adult. But what can you do? I ask you?

Today is a full day of classes and prep for my first bio test on friday. We will see how that goes.

Today's good day pictures

The cathedral and Washington Monument. Me in my laptop reflection. Sunset.

Today was wonderful!

Today was wonderful.
Some days it is so much easier to praise God and be grateful. Today was one of those days for me. Today went smoothly and had several nice gifts. I wrote my biology report yesterday and wanted to look it over this morning. So I woke early and checked the GPS bus route map and found that I could either leave very early or be very late. And organic chem labs do NOT like you to be late. At all! So with four minutes til the next bus I was out the door. But I kept forgetting things. Like breakfast, and my keys, and my copy card to print my paper between labs. And my head. And brain! But I ran and distinctly remember putting my phone in my pocket. At the bus stop there was no bus. So I knew I had missed it and began walking. Quickly but still eating my cinnamon swirl bread. When out of no where came another bus. Its wasn’t the one I had missed. It was another one. And I was not at the bus stop. So I ran with my one hand on my backpack and the other full of bread. And I made it! Do you know how often I miss the bus like that? How often I run and just end up winded and silly and without transportation?

I arrived early to class but not intact. I forgot my goggles, which my TA could have sent me home for. But he took pity on me and lent me his extra pair. And the lab was fun. I really enjoyed it. I am actually looking forward to the next one. I did well! That is always fun!

My biology was printed, I think it went well, especially considering I am not certain exactly what they wanted in this case. And lab was enjoyable. We got to examine fertilization of sea urchins. How random and fun! Egg and sperm really are amazing!

And on the lawn of the school as I was leaving was a Brazilian band playing, with families gathering on blankets, couples dancing and everyone being drawn in to the joy.

I can home and found I hadn’t actually lost my phone during the course of the day, which is wonderful! And I went jogging (or rather sprinting today) and at the end of my trail I saw three deer. In metropolitan Washington DC! Three! There were seven boys, who looked like juniors or seniors in high school sitting there in a lee of trees. And they stared at me as I can round the corner. And as I tried to act nonchalantly out of breath and tired I saw the deer. One of the boys looked less susprised than the others and said that he had seen them before. In fact he claimed they had chased him off.

It was a wonderful day. And I made it my whole circuit running almost flat out. I am dead tired, but it feels good. After a difficult week, it feels wonderful to have a good, where I accomplished academically, emotionally and physically. Today is a good day. Time for salmon for dinner and maybe even a sweet potato with sugar and butter.

My love of quotes

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain

Biology and crap . . .

So yesterday I felt like the weight of all the world rested on my shoulders. There are many situations in my life which I can't help, which all I can do is pray and then set them aside. But some how I always feel responsible. As though there must be somthing I am overlooking in doing, something I should be able to help and change the outcome. I think mostly I feel like a jinx. As though connection through me in anyway is bad. This is utterly ridiculuous, so no one lose sleep over my worries. But convincing your heart with the same logic that works on your head is impossible.

To avoid the problems surrounding me which I cannot change, I took a nap. The second nap in two days (its been a long week). Then I watched McClintock! with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara and read a book and ate Miso soup, which was the easiest comfort food I had in the house. It went a long way to restoring my equilibrium but it did not get my biology report written or my organic chem lab prepped for. So here I am at the 'big' undergraduate library. 'Big' because it is so small in comparison to Suzallo. Its more on the lines of UW engineering library, which is ok because I always liked that library a great deal too.

The Blommer Science library here has been my spot of choice until I realized I spent way to much time looking up seeing who was coming and going. After all the entire post-bac pre-med group practically lives in that library. Literally. If they didn't close, I wouldn't have to pay rent on my apartment. Although I always break down around 5:00 pm because I feel the need to return home and release stress by cooking. Which is tasty but annoying for leftovers.

Tomorrow is the lab day of length. 8Am to 4Pm. Oh what glories. However, only 8 of them left (already counting until Christmas).

Isn't it amazing how much and how little can be said in so much text?

Onward more

Today I have all day to get things done. I am hoping that I am actually capable of sitting down and doing it. Last minute always seems to suit me so well, the push and absolute need to get things done then, well, it just works.

Yesterday I laid low. I was late to physics again because apparently without rush hour, the 30 bus is incapable of being even marginally on time. So I left my apartment at 20 of 10 am and arrived at school at half past. I could have walk faster (much faster) than that! But I believe in that "as soon as you leave, whatever you are waiting for will come" concept which keeps me tied and waiting to the bus stop and the shuttle stop, despite wisdom to the contrary. So this morning I left my apartment 50 minutes early for class and of course arrive 25 min. early for class. Which I guess is how she blows. Roll with the punches, man, roll with the punches.

I had physics, organic lecture, then physics lab which was fun. I got to play with a motion detector and computer program that maps distance and time and basic simple stuff. It was great because it was completely self contained. No prep, no homework, just the exercise! Hurrah for easy!

I am still deal with my uncle's passing. It hurts. My cousin Hope should be returning home soon. Her girls will be delighted and so will her husband. My aunt will be staying briefly with my parents in Seattle. You just don't plan to spend your life with someone then have it end at 58 without some . . . adjustment? I can't think of a better word. Maybe trauma. All the plans are suddenly different, all the things that were established as normal, all the absolutes.

I found this quote today at google, and enjoyed it. Especially living where I do where everything is some how government, everything!

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

My eraser . . .

Its a matter of worry and pride that my click eraser is almost used to the end. Pride, because I have done that much work. Worry, that I will have to try and replace it! Today I am doing well. And that is all anyone can ask for. (And maybe to run into the guy in the hall again).

New appreciation for communication.

Having my own blog has given me a new appreciation for communication, the Internet, and all my other friends who have blogs. In fact I actually read them now! So everyone needs to write more often. I do hold some level of ambivalence of about blogs for the simple reason that I they don't necessitate actual involvement with people. You can check in on their lives without butting in at an inopportune moment, but they also don't know that you have ever "caught up" with you by checking out what is going on in their blog. It makes me a little sad. Which just reminds me that I wanted to thanks you guys who have left comments. Its like getting a wonderful note know that you are interested.

Today is a strictly biology class day but my physics problem set for the week are due tomorrow at 6 AM so all my studying will probably be directed in that way all day. I really foresee this first semester going relatively quickly, which would be wonderful. As I was explaining to my best friend Samantha, I feel like this is not the year to be expanded as an individual in society. If it happens to some extent I will be grateful. And I think a certain amount is necessary to remain not crazy or overwhelmed. But I also feel like this is the year to "get 'er dun." The sooner over, the quicker on the really interesting stuff.

I am hoping to make some more friends in the area, which has been happening slowly. Ah well, good progress is generally never as fast as one would want it to be.

The evening went well!

Hurray for hamburger noodle. Feels like home.

New backpack, new week, hopefully a new outlook

So I finally bought the new backpack, returned to one that was too small, and got some money back because I got an REI coupon! The new one is green (recommended by Payton and Hailey because of the color and because they just wanted to be done to go climb the rock wall) and it is huge! Hopefully it looks more overwhelming to me than anyone else. Hopeful it isn't as huge as I think!

After a difficult weekend, and I am hoping that week I can start fresh and be more on the ball, more intuitive and understanding. And hopefully get more sleep and require less. And use my time more wisely! On that score I am going to study some more.

Life, death and electrophoresis

Today my uncle is being buried. And I am tired and stressed and not there. I would just like to be with my family. Instead, one coast holds me loading protein samples in acrylamide gels to electrophorese and determine length/size and the other coast simultaneously holds the rest of my family grieving and celebrating the joy of my uncle Dan's life. I just feel . . . tired.

My new quote

Borrowed from google quote of the day. "The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking." - AA Milne

I thought this was a particularly excellent quote. I hope I am the last not the first two.

I survived physics class!

To the amazement of all, I survived and understood physics! If only the prof would not go so gosh darn fast! Stinkin' A! But thanks to my wonderful "Physics for Dummies" book, I actually understood what he was talking about! I do think I can not miss any class days. Otherwise I will be completely at sea. But triumph! today I wasn't lost!!

I am having an exceedingly hard time studying. Which is so bad! But I can't seem to kick it into high gear. But todays triumph should be helpful in encouraging me to go out on my own and studying like I will have no time tomorrow. Which is true!

On a funny note, yesterday I determined to lift myself from the dolldrums by retail therapy. A new backpack would lighten my mood and my load . . . so off to the Fair Oaks Mall REI and in search of a backpack that would hold my books and be good for day hiking. Talked myself into a very nice Northface backpack. When what to my wondering eyes, I packed for this mornings classes and I couldn't even fit as much stuff in there as my old standby backpack from Eddie Bauer. It can carry more weight technically. . . . but ugh! Admittedly I shouldn't carry as much but . . . needs must!

The bummers is the old backpack has spent its faithful . . . approximately 12 years! It is still going but it is stained. And the canvas waterproof coating is flaking off. The highlighter that sat in the pocket leaking now stains everything in it. But it works!! and everything mostly fits. Before it falls out!

The dilemna is yet to be solved.

AM not PM

So yesterday commenced another Malia moment. Those of you truly familiar with me will guess. These things do happen to other people but for some reason they happen way more often to me! Once again I set my cell alarm to 6:30 PM instead of 6:30 AM. 10 AM rolled gently around and up I woke, with a start! Needless to say I was appalled and being so far out it made it to late to catch my 10:15 AM class. More appreciation for being close to campus! So yesterday was another break day. Very little got done but I did catch up on my Dr. Who (a great BBC sci-fi show) and read some of my alternate physics book (Physics for Dummies) to catch the class. I understand more than if I had tried to go to lecture!

My cousin Hope made a brief stop home two days ago. For all of you who have extended your condolences, many thanks. I really appreciate how thoughtful everyone has been. I feel less involved in this death, like it hasn't really hit me yet. I am sure it will the next time holidays come around and there is no Uncle Dan on the couch.

Never mind. I revise that statement. It has hit me. Just not as often as it would at home. I feel . . . sad. I don't let myself dwell too long because I know that I can't do much with it. And can only deal with this in parts, one part at a time. And school worries do dominate me!

I have been concerned about my class load. That maybe I am taking too much on. That is a real possibility. However I have realize that there really was not any other way to do this course. I don't have to financial resources to do this program with out aid and I can't get aid if I am not going to school full time. Therefore this is the way I must do this. Suprisingly this has put my mind at ease a bit. I can;t look back and say "if only I had taken classes slower I would have gotten in . . ." because there wasn't an option like that here. My only option is to go at it full force. And I do think some of everyone else's confidence is sinking in. I will do this! I will be a doctor. Because gosh darn it, I am too darn stubborn and determined to do it and ridiculous to fail!!!

On that note . . . studying. Hopefully all day!!