So yesterday commenced another Malia moment. Those of you truly familiar with me will guess. These things do happen to other people but for some reason they happen way more often to me! Once again I set my cell alarm to 6:30 PM instead of 6:30 AM. 10 AM rolled gently around and up I woke, with a start! Needless to say I was appalled and being so far out it made it to late to catch my 10:15 AM class. More appreciation for being close to campus! So yesterday was another break day. Very little got done but I did catch up on my Dr. Who (a great BBC sci-fi show) and read some of my alternate physics book (Physics for Dummies) to catch the class. I understand more than if I had tried to go to lecture!
My cousin Hope made a brief stop home two days ago. For all of you who have extended your condolences, many thanks. I really appreciate how thoughtful everyone has been. I feel less involved in this death, like it hasn't really hit me yet. I am sure it will the next time holidays come around and there is no Uncle Dan on the couch.
Never mind. I revise that statement. It has hit me. Just not as often as it would at home. I feel . . . sad. I don't let myself dwell too long because I know that I can't do much with it. And can only deal with this in parts, one part at a time. And school worries do dominate me!
I have been concerned about my class load. That maybe I am taking too much on. That is a real possibility. However I have realize that there really was not any other way to do this course. I don't have to financial resources to do this program with out aid and I can't get aid if I am not going to school full time. Therefore this is the way I must do this. Suprisingly this has put my mind at ease a bit. I can;t look back and say "if only I had taken classes slower I would have gotten in . . ." because there wasn't an option like that here. My only option is to go at it full force. And I do think some of everyone else's confidence is sinking in. I will do this! I will be a doctor. Because gosh darn it, I am too darn stubborn and determined to do it and ridiculous to fail!!!
On that note . . . studying. Hopefully all day!!
1 comment:
And, don't forget: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and dogonnit....people like you!
(For those who don't recognize the saying, it's a Stuart Smalley quote from Saturday Night Live.)
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