White Christmas 2007

Enjoying white Christmas Seattle style. Shocking snow!

Isn't it funny. . .

You get the day off (or three weeks) and everything speeds up. Sleeping in is the only way to go. But my first day was long and enjoyed lunch (Thai food) and dinner (Korean food) with my parents and then Merissa and Rodney. It was great fun. I will post more pictures when I can. But truth to tell, I haven't even finished up my Christmas cards yet. Everything takes more energy when you are on vacation.

But school is done. We'll see how I survived, it but it is over at least!

"Steal my kisses" is the bomb!

Its this song by Ben Harper on the album, Burn to Shine. It is awesome. I am totally grooving with it this morning. Good thing too. I know my stomach could not handle any more caffeine, plus that makes me jangle. Good music just releases happy endorphins!!

That point where you just want to go

Even though you know there could be more useful preparation. You just want to take the test, or hard task. Just get it over with. Find the bad news quickly. If you are going to go down in flames, might as well good quickly.

Biology final t minus 3h15m and counting.

Sunlight apartment tour

"O'Tasty"

Menu slipped under my door this afternoon.
"O'Tasty-We serve delicious Chinese food, subs, seafood, chicken, Szechuan, Hunan." Now that is a confused restaurant. My kinda folks, though. Chinese-Irish.

Looking up. Until tomorrow

Physics final is over. Only biology left. Which is going to kick my rear. Hopefully not too much. Just plugging along and looking to a bit of difference. I am still hoping that my organic chemistry test is going to be terribly curved. Or maybe I was just more brilliant than I thought. One or the other. :)

I've reach the 100 posts mark

And my heart is racing with my first final of the season in 20 minutes. I am ready to go home and take a another shower and sleep for a few hours, maybe play and read for a bit, then study physics. Pray that this organic test in things I know. And pray that I can remember them. I would prefer not to watch my grade go down the tubes in one big bang. :) Oh, and that I don't suffer a heart attack from too much coffee this morning. Oh . . . and I would prefer not to puke during the final either. Which might be a distinct possibility just this moment.

Hopefully this will be a good start to a final testing day. The sunrise is surely lovely.

Forever onward . . .

I will always check the times of finals twice, three times. Maybe four! To double check the time, I looked just now for my final tomorrow. I thought it started at 12 noon. Thank goodness I checked. I am fairly certain this prof would be nowhere near as . . . interested in my pleading. Though the last one wasn't either. But I would like to avoid ever going through that again for sure and certain!

Tomorrow at 9am. My doom awaits.

Malia's practical christmas wishlist

#7 lead
comfortable mechanical pencils (#7 please, I break the smaller lead off pressing too hard)
3x5 note cards

Is it truly sad these things sounds really good? Don't worry. Hopefully it will pass. It is finals after all.

Annoyed . . .

I took time out and interupted my flow of study to watch my favorite current show, "Chuck" and it wasn't even on tonight. Not only was it not a new episode, which I would understand given the writers strike, but it wasn't even a rerun!! Geez guys. I hate "Deal or No Deal." Who watches it!! Urg. . . now I have to try and get back into the groove.

Poignant quotes . . .

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Marie Curie
That is definitely very true. We need to understand more so we may fear less.

Humorous rather than thoughtful. . ..
"He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet." Benjamin Disraeli
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Ronald Reagan

Sitting, studying, enjoying

I am sitting and studying. I just made myself a concoction from trader joe's mint hot cocoa, milk and espresso. Very close to a mint mocha but with less overwhelming chocolate flavor. I must say I did well. I set to start studying organic chemistry again after stopping to go out to dinner with my friend Colleen. And studying biology briefly with my mother on the phone as she drove to a dinner engagement (dad was driving, I promise that the first question I asked when she told me where she was!).

Today I saw an amazing feat (and feet). As I looked out my window at my desk cum dining table, I saw something fly toward the window of one the apartments in the building next door. From an extremely precarious branch, a squirrel had jumped to the sill. Slowly back and forth he moved, carefully inspecting for cracks, peering intently in as though he asking to be let in. He stayed in front of those windows for several minutes appearing confused why he couldn't get in. Then he scrambled on the sheer brick face of the building to the next set of windows over, repeat the routine, back and forth, searching, examining intently, confused why this wasn't working. He backtracked reluctantly, finally jumping from the perch of the window air conditioner to the spindly little branch. I held my breath as he made the jump, so precarious was the situation. However he made the leap successfully only to mournfully (at least to me) turn around to stare at the windows again, as though hoping he had been wrong before. My eyes finally left him and returned to my neglected work. Many minutes later I saw a squirrel sitting in the lee of a branch and the trunk of the tree staring at the same window.

The whole thing was so daring I applauded the intrepid little interloper-wannabe. But it did make me think twice about ever leaving my "safe" windows open again.

Friendly Reminder

Side note in organic chemistry textbook next to section disgussing properties of ethanol (grain alcohol) was this "Friendly Reminder".

"Everything is toxic in large enough amounts."

So true.

I guess I don't ...

Apparently people care about not getting bailed out. This article in the Washington Post yesterday shows anger over the possibility of mortgage freezes to help out those with adjustable rates due to change. I don't understand. People are in rough spot and getting help, and you are whining because you don't need the help too? I understand that it seems a odd. People having been losing their houses for years for debt problems and we haven't cared, but now we are bailing them out en masse. Except not. Any of these proposed ideas would only affect a few borrows and have limited scope.

I just don't get it. "I not up a creek without a paddle and I am mad because someone else is getting an oar." All of these people who would be affected are still going to be making difficult payment changes. Money is still going to be tight. Does that make you happier? They are still going to suffer.

Here are some blogs I followed links to. I was amazed. And saddened.

1) Housing panic. Avoid this first one if you are at all queezy. It contains alot of rancor and hatred.
2) Houseing doom. This one seems a lot more reasonable and contains links to many articles, websites, and other blogs. This link is to a post about a new Monopoly game
3) Seattle bubble. This one mostly last local articles.

Consider this year. . .

This is an article from today's Washington Post. Food banks are having shortfalls and increasing numbers of people applying for assistance. For some reason, this need really hit home with me.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/07/AR2007120702600.html?wpisrc=newsletter

As you think of Christmas coming up, consider making this a part of your holiday giving. Often I think of programs like toys for tots or angel tree. But even more important than gifts for children, is Christmas dinner for families. I know there are increasing numbers of people being affected by this morgage crisis and needing essential assistance like food banks to help get them through a rough patch.

Something to think about . . .

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

I would love to have taken more pictures today . .

But I always am leaving the library late and . . . no pictures. Sorry Merissa! But one great point of news (for me, anyway). I finished my last physics assignment of the semester. Now just a Organic chemistry paper and 3 finals to go and I am home free!!! Hurrah!

Oh, that lovely snow from last night left a not so lovely driving situation this morning. The temp today never got above freezing and this morning the roads were sheets of ice. I could hear them scraping Wisconsin Ave in front of my apartment at 2 Am last night. It was really good they did! As I walked to school, I thought about how incredibly likely I was to fall. But I didn't, thank the Lord. But as I was eating my luscious peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the science building today, I saw a friend with a wrist wrap. He had been walking his bike and fallen hard. Luckily nothing broken, but he did say that ER was filled with falls. The guy who sat next to him had a spiral fracture and had to be drugged up on morphine for the pain.

I promise to try not fall on the way home. D'accord?

The weather obliged and I couldn't resist . . .

A new set of real "Links to Think" or Malia's Manifesto

I told you I would feel better! And I do. Give me an hour (and a very large dose of liquid caffeine) and I can pull myself up by my boot straps!

I also did some reminding of what I am, what I want, what I want to see myself as, and see myself doing. Most of you are close friends or family. Some of you are more distant friends, or rather, friends in more distant places. I thought I would share some thoughts that sit deeply on my heart with all of you, though. Web wandering sparked this introspection. And it is good. Everyone needs to be reminded what you are doing and where you are going.

For me, the question of what I wanted to be, where I wanted to go was always certain. The pathway was uncertain, the choices getting me there difficult and nebulous. For me, I have always wanted to help people. That sounds ridiculous and idealistic. Not touching reality. Or it paints me as saintlike. That is obviously not true (said with a ruefully laugh). When I was young this desire manifested as the doctor. I wanted to be the doctor, who cured people. As I grew, so did that desire. I wanted to help people deal with their diseases. The older I grew, the more I understood, the more I saw medicine as therapy rather than cures. I wanted to be the doctor who knew how to treat patients so they would be well, if not cured then working and functioning and able to seek happiness.

I had a great teacher in high school who fed this desire, who encouraged me. He also challenged me on other levels. For some reason, even though I never got straight A's in his class, he also put "has a future in this field" on my report card. Thank you, Mr Heer. When I reached college I wanted to play and have that same future. I wanted a biochemistry and ceramics degree. But somethings derailed me. Mostly me, in retrospect. But even with 20/20 hindsight, I wouldn't change my path here. At least most days.

So I went to France to seek my future, since I thought I had watched my doctoring future go out the window when I gave up on chemistry. Actually, I saw France as second best, me giving up. I am proud of my degree in French, of the things I learned. And I am immensely grateful for the years that I grew up while studying all things French. I am grateful that I have a wider view of the world than just Seattle, that I see more than just those around me. I had always wanted to help others far and wide, but living in France was my first chance to see others far and wide. I think the culture shock was the lack of culture shock, the actual realization that "peoples is peoples" as my father would say. Other cultures may have other values and views, but in the end we are all just people.

As I looked for ways to apply my French degree, I thought of the UN or Medicins sans frontiere or World Vision. I thought of humanitarian aid. But there were many hurdles and I lacked experience in the field and the wherewithal to gain that experience. I am not brilliant and I didn't really want to work for the UN, despite Flora, my friend Mark's mom, who declared that of course I could work there. She had for many, many years. But I really wanted to do medicine, to help the body physically. And so I finally moved beyond the graduation inertia and applied myself to figuring out how to be a nurse. It was an achievable goal, worthy, interesting. My Nana was a nurse.

I became a nursing assistant and was blessed and lucky enough to work for Seattle Children's Hospital, on the Medical unit. I really can't tell you how wonderful that experience was. And how utterly unique. Many of the nurses I worked with there have since moved on to other things. If I were to return, nothing would be the same. Yet I saw there some hilarious and funny and sad things. I saw young nurses learning and a few older nurses dedicatedly working night shift still. And I realized, I wanted to know and learn. I wanted to continue learning through out my career. I wanted to be the person who helps make decisions in crisis and understands and move quickly. I realized I was a medicine adrenaline junkie. Stressful situations focused me, gave me a high. It wasn't that I enjoyed seeing children sick. It was that I enjoyed seeing children turn the corner and get better. I really like seeing how when the system work, parents and children together felt like they were part of the process, in charge and understood, even when things were not going well. I loved the hospital, the experience, the things you learned quickly because they were attached to real patients. I really enjoyed seeing the x-ray of the kid who ate metal, seeing his intestine slowly empty it from him body. Even on my worst day, I saw opportunity for growth in me, learning better for the next situation.

That is why I am here. Because that is who I want to be, I want to see myself as. I want to be a good doctor, who offers understanding to her patients and is able to help them all the more for it. I want to be a person who sees the faults of people and still offers grace. Who helps in the ways she can, and offers that help with no strings attached, with an open mind to realize that my good is not necessarily the best good. I want to change the world in my own small way. I want to change the world in my own big way.

Today I declare to myself, I am the person I thought I would be. I encourage you to be that person also.

I have changed my "Links to Think". It used to be my calendar and pictures. Now it is a new thing to learn. For you and me. Periodically I will attach a new link which addresses something. Today something I didn't know about, something sad. I promise, sometimes they will be funny. I can't help being attracted to the ridiculous and absurd. But they will always be something to further your thinking. Something to wonder, what can I do? Check them out. See what you think. And send me emails. Who do you see yourself as? I am curious.

Its snowing and I am less than excited . . .

I should be ebullient and excited. And I sorta was. But mostly I am tired and ready to get this semester over and done with. I have two last things to turn in and then finals. One is a set of physics questions on engines, work and energy. The other is an organic chemistry report. Neither of which I am that excited about or eager to finish. In addition, I don't really understand the concepts behind either assignment at all well. Net result=big kaputt. I am sick of using coffee as a double for interest. And I want to play. Mostly, I want back the 6 hours of last night that I did not sleep because I was wired and worried. I want to start today over with no headache, with more than 3 and 1/2 hours sleep, and with excitement about seeing today and the rest of the semester through.

Don't worry, I will be better later. And I will post pictures. It really is a wonderland outside. Maybe later I will be able to enjoy it.

Sad but understandable

An article from today's Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/03/AR2007120301771.html?nav=rss_health

The study published found that even though almost all (93%) of doctors said they should reports colleagues errors or incompetence, they often didn't. How sad that this is understandable? In any other profession this would be understandable and common. You would not ask lawyers to inform on each other when they went beyond the bounds. Or at least you would not expect them to do it frequently. Yet with doctors, you expect and need them to work in an atmosphere of suspicion. Obviously it would be best if doctors could be transparent with work problems. Yet would you put it out there and tell everything when you could be sued? It is human nature to cover mistakes, especially if you are getting away. If no one is noticing or at least calling you on it? Anyone have an idea? I seem to be wandering here.

Glib words bite you . . .

After I blogged so glibbly about West Coast/East Coast weather, I learned that not only was the West Coast getting snow, then sleet, but that it was also currently getting hurricane force winds and that in fact a few people died (4 at last count). Needless to say I felt bad about complaining about our measley 25-50 mph winds. I mean, when the Washington DC news covers the Northwest, which I generally think they would like to fall off along with California, you know bad stuff is happening! I-5 closed. Its the end of civilization for Seattle!

I still jest, but it is serious, I hope my family is well. I can't imagine losing family so abruptly from something so inconsistent and unexpected as winds and weather.

Well, I am off to study some more . . . as usual. Pretty much all I do these days. Study. Just as it should be. But come December 18th, I am free as a bird! (for three weeks any way!)

Heavy heart . . .

For those of you who know about all of the people in my life who are struggling with things, please be praying. For those of you who don't, pray anyway. God takes even prayers that are "undirected." For those of you who are now worrying for my sanity based on the last two sentences, fear not. It is as intact as it ever was. Which is to say not at all.

The saints among you, pray. Many thanks.

Frankie sings Christmas and I do laundry

----------------
Now playing: Frank Sinatra - I'll Be Home for Christmas (If Only In My Dreams)
via FoxyTunes

Going to do laundry and study but wanted to share to Christmas moment.

Booger.com and blogger.com are not the same. . .

In typing quickly, I encountered this error. Although it does make sense. Booger does not equal blogger.

Today it is extremely windy. Predicted 25-50 mph winds, although I am not sure whether we have reached that yet. The leaves that still cling tenaciously to the trees are quickly being battered into releasing their hold on Fall and submitting to the coming winter. The ironic thing is that here I am on the East coast preparing for cold weather and Seattle, land of mild winters, already has had their first snow fall! And the winter has been in force for quite some time!

How does that happen?

More New York pictures

I really wanted to get these on here because they are so great. So here they are belatedly. Yes, Samantha, I put pictures of you for the world to see. Too bad!

These are those balls that I kept seeing. Samantha and I found them in Central Park. They really do look like severe head trauma if you were accidentally hit with one. Or not so . . . accidentally . . . thrown!

You know your water is hard when . . .

After not using it for a whole day and a half, the shower diverter is hard crusted in crystals and won't turn on without being hit by a hammer (nicely of course). Problem solved.

On other problems solved note, many of you have been eagerly follow (and laughing at) my saga with the hole punch. Well yesterday proved a continuation. After studying for hours at school, I decided to make a quick trip downtown to an office supplies store to pick up a heavier duty hole punch. Unfortunately, the bus system was against me. First the right bus did not come, and I improvised, taking another bus in the same general direction, because I couldn't stand waiting after watching 3 other buses go by. I got off in front of the White House, which now sports a giant red bow (I will take a picture soon, I promise!) and walked over to K street, which has become a sort of nemesis for me, I must admit. After walking up and down, stopping for Starbucks and directions, I took the bus the rest of the way down to Union Station in hopes of finding the Office Max or something. Finally I settled for FedEx Kinko's which the confused barista informed was just like an office supply store.

They did have a Swingline hole punch, and an irate customer complaining loudly that she was being charged for the cover sheet of all her faxes when it had Kinko's logos on it. So I waited. Patiently. Because I understand frustration and employees just trying to survive through it. But then came the tipper, because the employee then took me over to the other counter and moved to the back where the other 6 employees were now congregated talking. And I stood there, waiting, as other employees passed me standing there, and ignored me. And the others stood at the back chatting as the first employee tried to get another one's attention. And this situation remained stable and inactive for at least 10 minutes. Because all I really want was to take the money out of my wallet and leave it on the counter. I just wanted to go home.

When my wait ended with no apology, I left annoyed. But worse was to come. Because I waited for the bus. And waited. And waited. When relief finally seemed in sight, I felt close to tears. It had become a three plus hour tour. To get a hole punch!! And the stupid bus was full so it passed our stop and kept going without picking anyone up. So finally after waiting an hour and 15 minutes I gave up and started walking home. And there I had it. My hole punch. Which I didn't even want any more! Not really but still!! Oh, and I almost beat the bus home. An empty not in service bus passed me as I started to walk past Mass. Ave and then right behind it was another bus, packed to the gills with the other folk like me who kept thinking that if they just waited a few more minutes, the bus would surely come. So at 5 o'clock, commuters aplenty, 14 buses did not arrive on schedule.

I joked to my friend Danielle as I complained about the whole silly fiasco, "what am I going to do, write a strongly worded letter?" This is my strongly worded letter.