Ironically

I hate it when people just post pictures to a blog with no commentary. OR they are clearly missing big bits of life (ie she flew home to Seattle and isn't saying anything about it. WHY NOT!?).

So I flew home. And kitty and I both survived. I am not sure Shupa (Flora/my Dad's cat) is going to make it through. He seriously wants to be friends and little miss (Mei-Mei) is not about to have any of it. Again. It's a replay of last holiday season.

I am having a good time, even if I have managed to percolate a cold/sinus infection of some sort. So I far I have seen mostly my parents and Declan and Mary Alyce a couple of times. I really, really need to throw in my cousins (Riah and Jerusha, and kiddos!) and Robin (and Lorie Mae). Especially with the kiddos I feel like I am missing huge chunks of their lives. They are completely different. I am sure I won't even recognize Sheep cat from our brief introduction last year (yeah Gaby!).

So now I photo dump. And they aren't even mine! These are the hike my dad and I and his idiom class students went on Sunday. We had SOO much fun. I really enjoyed it. It did take a while (long while) to completely thaw out.

Seattle here I come . . .er Thursday

I am so excited, I feel like I am rumbling from the bottom up (That may be my upset stomach from three cups of coffee though. Damn the free office coffee!). I am freaked out about money (Christmas and travel are never just the cost of the ticket) but I soooo pleased that I will be able to see my friends and family soon. I have never been away from "homebase" for so long. It's been an entire year since I last touched Washington (State of) soil. And while I have become accustomed and happy here in DC, there is a large part of my heart (Declan, Mary Alyce, Riah, Jerusha, Robin (and Lorie Mae), Hillary, Danielle, Mary and Marc, Aunt Janet, the list continues . . .) is bound to Seattle peoples. I am missing milestones, birthdays, first steps, first games. And all the non-milestones, the reading to kiddo at night, being available when a helping hand makes the difference. I am missing all of that too.

I am not moving back. I wish I could say I have a plan that makes that even remotely a possibility. Job economy being what it is, I don't forsee changes in the future. The only change even close will be school (keep me in thoughts and prayers; turn circles under the moon if you think that will help). Unless something alters, it won't be Seattle school even.

I have been lucky and blessed to be able to see my parents this year, even without going to Seattle. And Hillary! (I figure eventually even Dad will be forced to come visit me in DC if I have to stay long enough).

I guess what I am saying is: Life may be different; I can't make moving to Seattle a priority right now. But I am awfully glad to have loved ones like you (you know who you are) even when you are far away.

And in two days, most of you will be a heck of a lot closer!!

The rest of the White House Residence Photos

Courtesy of Mashari! Who has no shame about taking pictures whenever, where ever. Which I can't quite pull off but I totally appreciate the results of.
Not my best pictures but they could be worse.

This shot is by the Christmas tree (there were dozens!) by the residence portico entrance (see picture below)

Me showing of the house (and the dumpster? "22"?) Mashari and I enjoying the break in a work day.

The trees lining the door had crystal/glass drips that caught the light and looked like glittering ice. It was really cool.

Another shot of those really awesome wreaths made of gourds of some sort.
This is Mashari's favorite room, the red room. It definitely felt the "warmest", the most inviting, even though it was as formal as the rest of the house!

The "gingerbread" house below is case in white chocolate and has little cut aways so you can see inside two rooms in the building. It was the highlight for the all school kids that were on our tour.

Another shot into the blue room, looking at the Christmas tree. That one was complete ginormous and took up a lot of space.

Last year's tree light ceremony, I think.

Am I old, thrifty or just nuts?

What does it say about a person when you get kinda excited by the nice freezer bag someone hands over some nuts in?

Very few things can do relaxation as well as a cat

Friday night agrees with Mei-mei

White House residence tour pictures

I will post more pictures once I steal them from Mari, but these are the sampling of photos from my White House Residence tour yesterday. Normally tours are through the West Wing, the working wing, so to speak. But Jesse (Mashari's awesome friend who happens to have grown up right down the street for where my parents now live, in unincorporated Lynnwood) got tickets for the girls bible study (unofficially the PGBS). Unfortunately, Merissa and Janet weren't able to make it, but Jesse joined us which was so much fun!!

Pomegranate wreath

This really large cotton shag-esque reproduction was of the First dog. Who I got to see on the lawn playing while we were there! I am still bummed they didn't get a mutt from the pound. But how can you turn down a dog this cute? You can't!

This wreath made of small gourds was in the same hallway as the pomegranate wreath. The effect was really impressive. and don't you love the crystal/ice effect they added to the branches surrounding the doorway?

This ginormous tree was in the Blue Room. And no, its not hanging from the ceiling and the ceiling is not slanted. The wheat Christmas tree topper is just that tall.

From the Washington monument.

Catching up in pictures doesn't give much info or background. Unfortunately, my friends, I have fallen off the blogger bandwagon. Somewhere along the line the things I wanted to really write about became too close to share, to important or uncomfortable to expose. Uncovering depths I didn't know were there is an . . . interesting? (painful? healthful? helpful?) process. My wellspring of pitter-patter chatter seems to have run a little dry.

It doesn't hurt that I think of my everyday life as boring: feed the cat, go to work, eat lunch, come home, feed the cat, do housework, do bills, watch TV, go to bed. Start all over again.

But some days are good. Like this day where we all (Merissa, Jesse, Mashari, and her Mom) all went up in the Washington Monument. It was soo much fun.

It's busy in my brain

Work is . . . work. I have something due for review in 1 hour. So of course I can't concentrate and finish the darn thing. . .

I am enjoying this musical jem.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129754791

Garden

Dogs at night

A rare quiet moment.

Quote an interesting meditation

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. - Sidney J. Harris

This rings true to me, though I am not sure it actually is. And since I am the queen of things left undone in my personal goals (or at least part of the royal family) this could be considered tragic.

Saturday in the garden with mom

Sent from my iPhone

Not sure I can put the curtains back up

Because the view is so stunning without them ...

Be Denmark: Lower your expectations

According to recent research (thank you NPR), the secret of happiness is an income of ~$70,000/year and low expectations.

Does this make anyone else depressed?

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/08/world/europe/08iht-danes.4140472.html

Although, I do think maybe its good. Do good. Do your best. Be surprised and pleased even with small good.

Day 2- My first great love (in great detail)

You thought I forgot this little exercise. Well, I didn't !

My first great love. Honestly, I hope it hasn't happened yet. My love life has been distinctly anticlimactic. My friends have fallen in and out of love with apparent easy, I hold romantic relationships and guys not "safe" at some distance (safe= gay, attached, or completely not right/unavailable). I am getting better as I get older, as my recent forays into the DC meat market can tell. And I see a bit more success. But still nothing that makes me lose my tight, fist-clenching grip on common sense and cynicism.

My first "love" (it was 6th grade and doesn't really deserve the word, but oh well). Ryan. Ironically blonde and blue eyed. I still "accidentally" date that type, even though I prefer a darker look. He was shyish, but popular. Lots of girls wanted to "go out" with him. I think we actually ended up at some social event "together" (parents preparing for an auction or something to that nature).

My first boyfriend came at the same time. While my love "went out" with someone else, I agreed to go out with Rob. He was kinda cute dorky, brown hair. Eager to please. When he asked me out several days in a row he offered to "change however you want." Cuz that's a brilliant dating philosophy. He is probably completely darling now. We date for the length of two recesses during a single day. Then I backed out because I felt so bad that wasn't interested in him really at all. I just wanted to be part of the cool kid crowd who all had boyfriends.

I am glad I am not in 6th grade anymore.

Bud's new shoes

They are kinda awesome. Total throw back to the 80's.

Stealing Me Too- Day 1 Introduction

My beloved cousin Riah has begun doing this. I can't promise to be as pithy and awesome, I refuse to promise to go into great detail. But I don't think this is a bad exercise for me. And hopefully it will be entertaining and enlightening for my readers (also known as my family).

(Oh, and I also do not promise to complete this in all sequential days, but I will complete it.)
Schedule-
Day 01 - Introduction
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favourite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Introduction: I am me. I am a daughter; I am an analyzer; I am a sister; I am a dog lover; I am caretaker. One day I hope to become a healer.

I thought I would be someone else by now, but I am not. Over years, that's becoming ok.

I am just me. Nothing more. And certainly nothing less.

Wishes are like...

Wishes are like dandelions, there must be fertile ground and no anxious gardener around
-Tanya Green

Traffic for 10 days-Beijing

Heard about this from my friend Ben Morrell. Holy cow.
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dr-gridlock/2010/08/chinese_traffic_jam_hits_10-da.html

New project #4

Yep, I started a new project at work. Again. Man I need to grow up and go back to school and do something I truly love and believe in. If only I felt sure all the time that I knew what that actually was.

I started working for a really awesome PM, who had been a colleague on a previous project. Unfortunately the project may end soon, we aren't sure. We are up for recompete on this project too. I live in a wasteland of short term contracts. Thank goodness I finally took a leap on an apartment. If I kept waiting for something long term, I might never be going anywhere.

On this project, I finally get to be an analyst instead of an admin. Officially. On the last job, I totally made up my own title. I don't take appointments for someone elses calendar, I don't handle a general phone line, and I don't have to deal exclusively with one messy government client. Just a group of four clients, all battling for supremacy. Which may end up being worse after all.

Let you know how it goes. I may have to go into witness protection, but one day, I will find a venue for the ridiculousness I have been privy to working for the government.

Self-editing, truth and graciousness in discourse

"if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Yes, its good advice in a difficult situations. My mom generally didn't say that to me a lot, but she did say it. As I learn more about myself, as I grow up and explore my and hopefully end some of my more irritating and debilitating hang-ups, I wonder: am I say truth and giving honesty when its right, even when its not nice? Especially to myself. Denying feels doesn't end them. Feelings don't have to be fair to be real, to be felt, to effect decisions.

So I will work to be honest with myself. And kind in my speech. Except when it is right (I pray) to speak truth in love.

And here I will end. Because I am self-editing.

Happy pictures

Mashari meris and I cracking each other up at merissa's work event.
The bugs loved the people. But over all it turned out really well!

Declan turned 8

Declan turned 8 today. And for the first time ever (except the actual birthing day) I am not there to celebrate. I hurt with missing my family. My mom would remind me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family to miss. But right now it just hurts.

Poll: Could You Live With Only 100 Things?

Poll: Could You Live With Only 100 Things?
I have to admit, I really don't think I could. Excellent article.

They never met an awkward social situation they didn't like

Apparently there is "surprise" farewell party for me on Thursday. Unfortunately since I get everyone's calendar invites, it's not so much a surprise. Except, I have only been here for 5 months. And frankly, they couldn't cough up a position that would keep anywhere near the manner to which I am accustomed (ie paying student loans AND eating).

Let you know how it goes. Sounds awkward.

First a bomb scare, then a fire alarm, now regular government irritating jargon

When I arrived at work this morning, I was literally turned away by FPS and the DC Metro Police. There was a bomb scare. I turned it to my favor and I shot up to Target to get a prescription I needed. Finally one entrance of the building was cleared by 10am. Apparently a painter was using a suitcase to carry his brushes and had a cell phone charging next to it, plugged in outside the building. They then used the fire alarm going off for a few minutes to inform us that the "all clear" had been given. Given how jumpy the 2 hour bomb saga made everyone in the building, I think the fire alarm might be a bit much.

It's amazing how much nonsense can be said in a single 20 minute period. Today during a staff meeting with my primary government client, he tried to refer to a big meeting that happened last week and praise everyone for coming together to help make it happen. Unfortunately for him, there was also, what could politely be termed "cat fight" on the same day before the event. Yelling, name calling, and physical intimidation (though the person swears that was not her intent) were all on the menu. Someone even reportedly called the cops (though they didn't show up as far as I know).

I hate it when say things like "look in the mirror" for the problem or "these people have our full support" or we are a"customer-focused" organization. As my wise father once said, "if you need to say it, it probably isn't true." Or in the case of the mirror, I have generally found most problems originate with the person espousing that line, someone who is trying to deflect attention from their own failures by pointing to other people.

But deflecting is something we all do. Like me. Because I am deflecting everyone and myself from focusing on the terrifying fact that I am not in medical school yet. And internally I am deflecting myself from my fear of applying and starting medical school. That I really need to figure myself out. Soon. But don't talk to me about med school yet. Please. It's scary enough without feedback. Trust me, talking about isn't going to make this better. But I am working on it.

Moments when time slows

I need one of those moments. When time slows down. Somehow I have made it "here", wherever here is, and yet I didn't mean to be "here." I think most folks come to some point like this in life. Generally, I think it's called a mid-life crisis. I want life to slow down so I can somehow make decisions.

And yet I am healthy and employed. A depressingly funny quote from Ben Morrell (yeah, high school drama friends) edges things into some perspective.
"L: You have a 1/11mil chance of crashing in a plane
B: I have a 1/25mil chance of getting this type of cancer I have! #FeelingPessamisticRWe"

The speed at which time passes should free me from worry, right? After all, I worried in January about moving and committing to anything when my job was uncertain. I worried about getting into a lease which wouldn't let me move back to Seattle right after I finished Georgetown. Yet I am still here, two+ years later.

Maybe this could be termed existential crisis. Probably not though. I'll let you know.

Hmm pictures of me.

Sitting pretty in my lap.