2088+ socks: so ridiculous I couldn't make this stuff up

I have decided to write a completely anonymous blog with just the random (excuse the word) crap that actually happens everyday working for the government. Par example: Today, 1044 pairs of socks (2088 individual socks or possibly 1044 pairs of socks per carton with 5 cartons delivered total; we aren't sure) were delivered to my office this afternoon. They were intended for a detention center in El Paso. I guess I am glad it's mid-May and likely fairly warm in Texas this time of year. And I am going to hope that this wasn't a last minute extreme need purchase. Because the vendor made a mistake. And knowing the government and government vendors, its going to be a while before these socks make it to their intended owners. And these boxes will be cluttering my cube walkway for a while.

Have I mentioned how irritating AT&T is

So I literally have had no service on my phone at home for the last two days. I have been struggling with service "Searching" everywhere, but apparently my home (the middle of DC!!) has such bad service my phone can't even figure out its supposed to be on AT&T!

I love my iPhone. I live off it sometimes. And I have no land line phone at all. The whole story is tragic. Really. Tragic, like on the level of endangered species being wiped out completely or baby seals dying (if you can't hear the heavy sarcasm tone aimed at myself and my petty problems).

That moment when you realize you grew up

Somewhere along the way, apparently I grew up just a little. Funny that it has taken until 27 and I am still not where I planned to be. However, by and large, I am happier and more emotionally healthy than I have ever been. I had to give presentations at work and they went really well. I got a lot of good feedback and I will be doing more of the same type over the next couple of weeks. Just remembering my fears of unknown situations, unknown people, and public speaking I am amazed. I still instinctively shy away from unknown situations, parties where I won't know more than one person or where I will be too much on display. Let's face it, very few people are truly comfortable or blossom in those situations (more power to you extroverts!). But I have survived several uncomfortable encounters lately with no scars or major traumas.

People who haven't know me long actually laugh at me when I say I am shy. Mostly because my shorter term acquaintances are work-related. In the workplace I have a purpose and am confident; I am a value-add (don't you love the irritating business language use?). I am under-employed at work and I am fully aware of that fact.

I am back to being uncertain about my long term work outlook. The government has decided to in-source to positions currently being filled by my contracting company. I am not sure yet what I will do, whether I will try for a government position and a pay cut, or hold out for another contracting position which may only last for a few months. A Democratic Administration is not the time to be relying on a plethora of contracting jobs popping up. I am hopeful that something will come along suited to my personality, long-term goals, and talents. Or rather, I remain hopeful. I have been waiting for a while. :)

Tech writer's rant

1. Spellcheck. It's not an option.
2. No, you cannot use the return key (creating new paragraphs) to create double-spaced documents. There are several much easier ways to do this in Word or any other reputable word processing software (Google Docs, Lotus Notes, anything). This not only make the document necessarily longer, using more paper when printed and irritating any discerning reader, it also creates headaches when converting to Adobe pdf and trying to make it 508-compliant, accessible to screen-readers everywhere.
3. Not everything is "Body Text." Styles were created for a reason. Use them.
4. If you are going to deviate from the set MS standard styles, please use your own new style consistently. If you start one section on a new page, start the next section on a new page too. If you number using a "A-1" style in the footer, don't use a "A.1" in the document.
5. When creating numbered lists, do not include use punctuation at the end item UNLESS every item in the list is a complete, COMPLETE sentence. For those unfamiliar with complete sentences, let me refresh your memory: a complete sentence includes a noun, a subject and a verb.
6. Please, please use underlining and bold and italics judiciously. These are for infrequent use. If more than 1/8 (13%) of your document (excluding headings) is underlined, italicized or in bold it's time to rewrite. All 66 pages cannot be the most important thing in the document. I agree, there are excellent reasons for using emphasis. But a reader starts feeling irritated when everything in the document is emphasized.
7. Please do not use tabs or spaces to center text on the page.
8. If you have to hand create a table of contents in MS Word 2003 or later, then you are not creating documents correctly. There is an automated function to make the whole thing easier for everyone, especially me.
9. Just because something looks nifty doesn't make it easy to read.
10. Just because something needs to hold water legally doesn't mean it needs to be incomprehensible to anyone except a lawyer.
11. If it doesn't sound like it makes sense, it probably doesn't make sense.

Book Hill Park Garden

Georgetown, Washington, DC

The White House Garden Tour

I was THAT close to the White House. Thanks to a friend of Mari's (thanks Mashari!) there were two tickets to the White House garden's annual viewing. Merissa and Samantha both had to work today at 3pm. Merissa drove downtown with me but then felt the pressure to get to work and completely missed the tour (the line was ridiculously long!). Luckily I met up with Mashari and Jesse and I didn't have to be completely alone.

The play toy looked kinda fun.

Aren't we completely darling? Janet, Me and Mashari. I just wish Merissa could have been there. It would have been the complete Bible study crew.
Mashari came up with the fantastic pose. It really was amazing to see something to iconic to the US and be so completely closeup.
Wisteria is in bloom.
The view on the South lawn. I don't think I would like being so penned in as President of the US, and be followed everywhere. But I would totally take the house.

The azaleas are definitely in bloom all over DC right now.
Mari wanted a picture with the guys and the big guns. They were not kidding around.
The tree the Eisenhower planted. Some president's definitely got a kick out of planting lots of new trees.

Update on the move to a more healthy Malia

So I am not sure there has been any substantive weight change since I started last Tuesday night. I have until Wednesday morning before I start demanding a refund. But I have noticed that the focus on portion controls, and not really having much option but to eat less food as well as just having a more defined meal (its all there, I don't need to/get to add anything) have helped me a lot. I am still adding a few extras (double-bubble anyone?) mostly drinks. This weekend I ate a 2nd "dinner" of a salad (blue cheese and dressing and apples, mmm good). Saturday I ate well until I substituted dinner I didn't want for a large piece of pizza. And Sunday I ate brunch with Merissa and Samantha and had pancakes for lunch and then steak dinner with Rebecca and Steve.
So I am not totally with the Diet-To-Go program . . . But I added plenty of exercise yesterday when Merissa's dog, Clyde, decided "off-lead" meant "totally gone." Roughly an hour and a half later (my phone was dying and I was too stressed to pay attention to the time) a lovely couple who had grabbed the triumphant hunter/hound dog who was barking and circling a dead deer carcass. Clearly it was the biggest animal Clyde had ever seen. I think he was rather proud of himself for finding it. He was not at all repentant for the stress. My cute little black flats will never be the same. Kelly and I circled the nature reserve several times trying to find Clyde. Ironically the dog who really needed the long walk was Clyde, but Kelly and I sure were the ones to get it!

Taking radical action on health

I am giving up food choice and eating out, for week at least. I officially order this thing called Diet-To-Go. Pre-made meals, fresh ingredients, limited calorie intake. Its an effort to be as healthy (and happy) as I possibly can. There is no reason for me to have a slightly elevated cholesterol or to feel less that happy with my current shape. Especially when it is essentially just a choice to over indulge in food that is getting me in trouble. Plus, this has the added advantage of being cheaper than my current eating out habit (thanks Merissa and Mashari).

So keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I pick up the meals tomorrow afternoon and start with dinner. Should be interesting. And hopefully fun!

One more note on health

I worked out again today. I am slowly working up with more calories burned, harder settings and longer "runs" (currently using the elliptical since my running shoes suck). It felt good and it helps make me feel more awake and "with-it" in the morning. HOWEVER I ate cream sauce and pasta for lunch. The truth is that I want to be able to eat without thinking and just burn it off. I know its not that easy. I refuse to commit my life to working out for long spans each day. I am working up to 45 minutes (from a current 30) but anything more than an hour and I start to feel all that time I could be doing other things: Like eating with Merissa, Mashari, Samantha and Janet. Ok, I get it, eating is what got me to my "gently rounded" size right now.

The doctor didn't say I was fat. She did tell me my BMI was edging into overweight (ok, the "edging" language is mine) and that my good cholesterol was low and the bad was up. So I am determined to return to a previous version; the end Children's-Hospital-Malia size. Healthier. I am already getting happier than I may have ever been. Time to bring all the elements together. After I eat something disgustingly fantastic and buttery for dinner.

Wasting the day away

So today is one of those days: little to do and lots of time to do it in. I actually have no projects or tasks to complete right now. I just finished a masterpiece of employee motivational imagery (cool poster) and some spreadsheet details. The posters I will have to work on additionally but until I get the photos from the Public Affairs office (I've been waiting since Thursday; how hard is this people) I can't really do much. Tomorrow I will be photo treking through the different divisions of employees with my program office so people can feel connected and see themselves and really helping with the mission and vision of DHS/our component. But right now I have 2.5 hours to kill doing something. Hopefully for taxpayers and myself I will do something marginally productive. But its not looking super likely. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and a little more interesting.

I think I am going to raid the supply closet for now. . .

Its hard to stay when no one else will. . .

Specifically the office. My new clients do tend to stay 'til later hours and then actually leave their work at home (no midnight emails yet). But right this moment its 5:02 pm on Friday night. I want to bolt but I really need to stay an few more minutes. My work so far has been rather limited in scope and interest but I am hopefully that my tasks become more complex and the people will stay friendly and without personality disorders.

I worked out this morning. I am so proud since this has almost become a habit. Unfortunately for every workout and healthy meal, I eat almost commensurate amounts of the junk. Ironically it was easier to eat better before I started trying to eat better. Today my project manager brought in cookies: oatmeal-raison, chocolate chip and sugar cookies. Not super fantastic (actually the oatmeal was rather excellent) but I still ate quiet a few. Ugh. If I truly had stopped to ask the question, "is this really where I want to spend my calorie budget today?" the answer would be "No."

Evolve

Our government agency program office has been trying to "Evolve" for some time: increase process and procedure, creation and adherence; improve customer service satisfaction; etc. There is a little metro map that goes along with this. Someone has rebelled.

Nothing says "process and performance improvement" like a nuclear blast.

Last day. . .here at least

Today is the last day of our contract here. The Ides of March, how odd. What a bizarre day to choose to end a contract. I had never planned to be in DC this long. I had really hoped to be back in Seattle by now. But life (and the Lord) has a way of making Robert Burns true: "best laid plans o' mice and men gang aft aglay." Truly, it has not been a bad thing. In fact, I have learned a great deal.

But tomorrow it's a new position, with new responsibilities. Ostensibly, the same as the one I currently occupy. So hopefully I will still be able to learn and grow.

How did I make it to Friday?

Life seems to be whirling by. Days get longer, months get shorter. How does that happen? Just another time paradox. I can't tell you how lovely it is to have warmer weather here in DC. A balmy 55 and Samantha pulls out her flip-flops for getting to work.

Even the rain today is wonderful. It makes me feel at home away from Seattle, plus it is significantly whittling away at those large piles of snow still left from the February storm. One of the piles has been blocking the path to the bus stop for more than a month and forces every one to climb over it or step straight into the muck.

Last weekend, my friend Aaron and I went biking ride around the Mall. We talked about going again tomorrow morning but I think the rain and "urban flooding" (otherwise known as large puddles) may keep my exercise indoors. I convinced Merissa to try this yoga place in DuPont that I still haven't even been to yet! I have never done yoga actually so trying it out tomorrow should be funny for all the on lookers, at the very least.

I am starting in a new position with my same company, in the same building. Different folks but still working for ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement). It will be a whole new challenge. I am getting very excited to start full-time on Tuesday (my current position closes on Monday, March 15, the Ides).

And I am really excited for my birthday this year. March 22 I will be 27 years old. That isn't too bad. I have made it this far without completely messing up. I like being older and growing in confidence and hopefully wisdom. Thank the Lord we don't have to stay 12 for our whole lives

Some how happy despite one of those days

You know those mornings when you have a hard time dressing yourself? yeah, that was this morning.

Apparently getting married?

A good friend at work, one of my government clients, announced to a branch meeting that my moving jobs was good timing since it was just in time for us to get married. I may have laughed a little hard . . . and long. Sorry Bob. It was just so unexpected. But thanks for the compliment.

I didn't plan to be here, but that's ok

I didn't plan to still be in DC. I planned to be happily returned home to Seattle by now. Except now its more than just me in the US location with licenses plates "Taxation Without Representation." I joined Hope and Terry and Payton and Hailey. My friend from UW, Samantha, moved down from New York. Now Merissa has moved out and so has her best friend Mashari. Suddenly I am surrounded with family and friends. And I have wonderful friends from work: Rebecca and Kristen. God has truly taken away my loneliness for friends that I felt so deeply last winter.

And so I find myself actually living in DC. And apparently staying for while. School ... there are lots of questions there. In a week from Tuesday I will be starting with a new contract, a new client, doing something hopefully a little more interesting and challenging. Still a contractor for the federal government supporting Immigration Customs Enforcement. How completely odd to say that! It has been a learning experience. I hope (I believe) my patience and understanding has increased.

I don't know where I will be in 10 years (I hope I will be doing something I love). It is nice to feel that I may actually be where I am supposed to be for while. For me this is a huge step forward.