Opportunities, another job, and an earthquake

Reality of the pay cut came due on Friday when I saw how much I actually make after taxes. Its dismal. So I must find another job. People with offers and ideas gladly entertained. I am still living with my wonderful friends Rebecca and Steve so the hard knock of rent and hunger are a long way off. But this isn't a permanent solution by any means. They need their basement and their pantry back and I need to stop feeling like a little kid living off her "parents"/friends. The feeling comes internally, not externally at all. Both Rebecca and Steve have been wonderful and welcoming. But gifts, even those generously given, shouldn't be presumed upon.

You know its funny. There was an earthquake yesterday. For most it was literally and figuratively earth shaking. It made a mess at R&S's. Some decorative plates fell and shattered, bookshelves upstairs were rocked. It looked as though a particularly angry and messy burgler had visited. Frankly though, it was not that bad at all. In fact it didn't rattle me as much as realizing I still need to move forward and the change in work wasn't a magical key to unlock my type A personality.

Still looking though. Wishful thinking, but I hold out hope.

"A wise man will make more opportunity than he finds."

I have had this quote at the top of my blog since I started (how many years ago now!). I saw myself as making the opportunity to go to Georgetown. I didn't realize how much I would come to believe it. How much I would come to believe how much we really DO have power over our circumstances. We set the stage for our own success and failures. And even mediocrity.

Clearly there are many things out of our control. Other people, sickness, the economy to name just few. Bad things do happen to good people. But I keep thinking of that quote I posted a few weeks ago: he who will not economize will agonize. That's me! I am not super good at economizing but I am good at agonizing! I am not set to go broke soon or anything, but I definitely feel like there are days when I buy things I didn't really mean too. Especially when I go back and look at receipts after a few weeks (hindsight being 20/10). Did I really spend $30 going out to eat on a Monday? and that restaurant was lame and carb intensive. Clearly I am not good at economizing with food or money. Hmm.

I guess what I am trying to describe is this: separate from illness and acts of God, if I am unhappy with how my life is going (which I currently am a bit frustrated with since I haven't really done all I could do to pursue my dreams) I need figure out how I am going to change it. Because I am the one who put myself here: in this city, in this job, in this apartment, in this debt, with these friends. Me. I chose it. And God has blessed it (see "with these friends" and "in this apartment" and even "in this city").

I finally got to take mom to see the cherry blossoms

Unsuccessful self-portrait

Slightly more successful self-portrait

Mom by the Jefferson memorial

They were just soooooo beautiful

Kitchen knives in purses and other stupidities

I have been having a wonderful birthday. I appreciating being 28, a transition between years which is relatively easy, not a completely major adjustment. I am still young (despite the comments of a few irritating co-workers) and have a lot of time ahead to explore.

Mom flew in on Tuesday afternoon just in time for a birthday dinner. I had jokingly told Merissa and Mari I wanted Popeyes for dinner and they went overboard and took me to Nora. I admit a small group fried chicken dinner isn't exactly out of the ordinary, but Restaurant Nora maybe overboard!

For those of you familiar with Merissa's goings-ons, I will say her recent troubles make me realize what brilliant lawyer I could be if I just had the patience and the desire to sacrifice my life to argument. Doing research on a subject quickly (1-2 day period) and doing it every day is another story.

Alright, down to the headline story. Yes, I commited a complete betise and put a kitchen knife in my purse. Merissa gave it to me for my birthday Tuesday night. So when I decided to make this fabulous wild rice salad I wanted to use the new Santoku knife. Mom and I went grocery shopping nuts. Food for the century except focused on perishables (yeah fruit and veggies!). But in line to pay I reach into my purse for my Safeway card, totally forgetting the knife.

I tried to downplay how deep I thought it might be. After all, I was in a Safeway in DC. I didn't exactly want to admit I carried a big kitchen knife in my purse because I am a complete idiot. Nobody freaked out, but I did get tons of free bandaids from the store manager, who now knows who I am and thinks I am a dufus but NOT potentially homicidal (which is good, because that is the best grocery store in DC!). I kept asking the manager, really pleasantly and jokingly, for gauze or something. He kept offering bandaids or alcohol wipes. Finally we managed paper towels.

Another adventure with Malia. Good times.

Follow up to New Year's resolutions disclosures= med school interview

Ok, so I actually got an interview for med school. Virginia Tech Carilion. Its a new school (only 1 class so far) but it is provisionally accredited. I interviewed this weekend and I really, really like the faculty and the students. One of the charter class is even from UW and lived across the street from me in the 17th ave guys house (Christian guys house across the street) and graduated a year after me. How exceptionally funny is that! I know this still a long shot. But I keep hoping it is less of a long shot than I think. For all of you supporters, you have serious confidence in my awesomeness which isn't completely borne out it my application.

When I received the first rejection from GW (they interviewed 1,000 people, can you imagine?that is just insane!) I started to think that it was time to pull it together. So I started an MS project schedule of reapplying for this coming year. I think I need to pull it out and get it started. So that if I get in, good; if I don't, life won't end. After actually visiting Roanoke and the school, its really hard not to be very attached the idea of actually starting in August. I feel like the school is a really good fit for me (if not perfect). Lots of places to come up with new ideas and really cool learning style and even solid opportunities at the affiliated hospital (its a level 1 trauma center with 15 residencies). I know that I would not be the first one who has reapply for a couple of years. I just wish I could be one of the ones' who don't have to.

I am seriously thinking of making some changes though if I am not accepted on the first cut. It might be time to be drastic in my life realignment. Time to get started doing something I love.

New Year's Resolutions and Life Round Up

So . . . I have not been super forthcoming to my blog readers. You've had to catch me in person to find the big news in my life: I have submitted some last minute (really last minute) applications to med schools. All East Coast schools (sorry, they had later deadlines!). I haven't wanted to talk about because I had the feeling like talking about it would jinx it. Plus I have a serious inferiority complex about med school and being an MD. I feel driven to be in the field but seriously less than everyone else who could (and does) apply each year. I haven't: worked in lab; inoculated children anywhere; received 3.7 GPA in the sciences. What I am hoping is that I would prove different enough, or at least interesting enough, to let into school.

My phrase for this season? Hail Mary (as in pass, from football?). I have said it so many times I am completely irritated with myself. I need to integrate some new sports terminology.

But I have gone further this year, inspite of the lateness. I have actually submitted secondary applications to two schools and am on track for two more, which I did not do the previous season. My chances are really small (I can't emphasize that enough). But for all the hedging I am doing I am still hopeful. Really hopeful. Completely NOT commensurate with my actual chances hopeful.

So my resolutions for this year, not surprisingly, have to do with med school and my job.

1) By January 1 next year I will be working in the medical field. Period. Either full or part time or in school working toward the same. End of story. I will be doing something that matters toward who I want to be and where I want to be. Everyone (myself included) will be happier when that happens.

2) By January 1 next year I will be either in medical school (totally off chance, but here's hoping) or completely done with secondary applications.
a) If I have to apply again next year, I will need to retake the MCAT (most schools won't take my score from tests more than 2 years old)

Needless to say, I need to get on the ball.