She's ALIVE ........

So I realize I have been hiding out from the world, and my own blog. It's hard to blog when you feel a little lost/scared about what major changes you are making. ie quitting your job, taking a pay cut, pursuing a crazy dream when you are almost 30 and belong doing "real thing" and digging out of school debt already. But since anyone who knows me for any length of time can tell me, sometimes I just can't let go of an idea. And while I am no beauty off the starting block, I am determined and relentless on occasion. And my dream of being an doctor is one of those occasions. Sooo. . . med school, years in the ambivalent pursuit mode, now full scale war . . . I hope.

My running fiend

Can we see track in this kid's future? 7 miles and he didn't break a sweat according to his mom. Go Declan!

I'm the only person I know who could lose $20 within the time I crossed the street by placing it in my own pocket.

Opportunities, another job, and an earthquake

Reality of the pay cut came due on Friday when I saw how much I actually make after taxes. Its dismal. So I must find another job. People with offers and ideas gladly entertained. I am still living with my wonderful friends Rebecca and Steve so the hard knock of rent and hunger are a long way off. But this isn't a permanent solution by any means. They need their basement and their pantry back and I need to stop feeling like a little kid living off her "parents"/friends. The feeling comes internally, not externally at all. Both Rebecca and Steve have been wonderful and welcoming. But gifts, even those generously given, shouldn't be presumed upon.

You know its funny. There was an earthquake yesterday. For most it was literally and figuratively earth shaking. It made a mess at R&S's. Some decorative plates fell and shattered, bookshelves upstairs were rocked. It looked as though a particularly angry and messy burgler had visited. Frankly though, it was not that bad at all. In fact it didn't rattle me as much as realizing I still need to move forward and the change in work wasn't a magical key to unlock my type A personality.

Still looking though. Wishful thinking, but I hold out hope.

I am so tired. Big surprise.

The GOOD: So I started my new job at the GW MFA (medical faculty associates). I am almost at the end of week 2 and I have already learned soo much. I feel like my brain is working again, questing for new knowledge on a regular basis, trying to place all of the pieces in the right order. Ophthomalogy is a whole new ball game from pediatrics.
The BAD: I got official word yesterday that my "waitlist" status is now "thank you but no thank you" status from the med school. I guess there was still part of me that was hoping, even if the conscious part of me was resigned.
The "why am I being mean to myself?": I have regular prescription that I have been out of since Friday and I am starting to feel crappy without. Why do I do that?! Luckily my new insurance which officially started on 8/1 (but I can't claim anything with it yet because I am not able to complete a benefits election yet) prioritizes the pharmacy downstairs! And my primary care physician will be in this building. It should be really easy to get my medicine this coming month. I hope.

Let you know more as it goes. I am actually still at work trying to be involved except we do not have any patients (the attendings are off this afternoon). I do still have piles to learn.

I did it! Now what do I do.

Guess what? I quit my job yesterday (or at least gave 2 weeks notice). I gave notice on my apartment last month after I wrote my last post and I have to move out by the end of this week. And after a month of searching, I still haven't found the right thing or where to move. It's driving me completely crazy. I mean, completely.

I am moving everything into storage and taking my cat, cat tree and the essentials (the bags get larger and larger everyday) and I am moving into my friend Rebecca's basement. Initially this was fall back should I be unable to find the right place. I can't believe she offered. I am soooo incredibly thankful that this is even an option!

So my living situation isn't settled (but I am not homeless, thank God!) and I accepted a job (official as of yesterday) working as an ophthalmology technician at George Washington University's Medical Faculty Associates. It's the clinics were the med school student go learn and the med school teachers actually see (pun-pun) real patients. Picture your doctor's office but squished into half size rooms and then triple the number of patients in the waiting room. They are expanding the ophthalmology clinics. There are 7 (I think) different clinics within the ophthalmology department for different types of problems.

Can you tell how scattered I feel about my own life? Oddly enough (or not when you consider the psychology of the matter) it is translating into much better focus at work. I am really chopping away and getting stuff pushed out and finished so much faster than usual!

I can't wait! I am going to be broke but I am soooo excited about the work! its going to be completely awesome!

its going to be a long couple of days

Merissa is moving, work is in turmoil, I have meetings in weird locations (Rockville without a car sounds like a good time, doesn't it?). Frankly, I am just tired and hoping that wonderful solution I can settle comfortably into appears on the horizon. But frankly, I have prayed and worked for these changes. How can I possibly complain when the change finally happens. So what if I need a cheaper place to live! Seriously, jobs pretty much thrown in my lap and I am complaining because the one I want doesn't pay enough but has lots of potential? Shut up, Malia, and get on with finding a roommate. There is SOOO much more of life to live.