Proud turn of phrase

While your intentions are dark your meaning is clear.

I came up with that on the fly. Kinda of proud of that. Very . . . deep somehow. :)

"A wise man will make more opportunity than he finds."

I have had this quote at the top of my blog since I started (how many years ago now!). I saw myself as making the opportunity to go to Georgetown. I didn't realize how much I would come to believe it. How much I would come to believe how much we really DO have power over our circumstances. We set the stage for our own success and failures. And even mediocrity.

Clearly there are many things out of our control. Other people, sickness, the economy to name just few. Bad things do happen to good people. But I keep thinking of that quote I posted a few weeks ago: he who will not economize will agonize. That's me! I am not super good at economizing but I am good at agonizing! I am not set to go broke soon or anything, but I definitely feel like there are days when I buy things I didn't really mean too. Especially when I go back and look at receipts after a few weeks (hindsight being 20/10). Did I really spend $30 going out to eat on a Monday? and that restaurant was lame and carb intensive. Clearly I am not good at economizing with food or money. Hmm.

I guess what I am trying to describe is this: separate from illness and acts of God, if I am unhappy with how my life is going (which I currently am a bit frustrated with since I haven't really done all I could do to pursue my dreams) I need figure out how I am going to change it. Because I am the one who put myself here: in this city, in this job, in this apartment, in this debt, with these friends. Me. I chose it. And God has blessed it (see "with these friends" and "in this apartment" and even "in this city").

When a "holding pattern" is going on 3, it's time to find out why and change the pattern

After another round of evaluations of myself and some pointed comments from friends, I stick to my MD asperations. I was playing with the idea of a Psy.D. (a professional doctoral degree in psychology) because I love psychology. It is fascinating. I mean, who reads stuff like that for fun? Umm . . . .me.
I have to be honest and say, I am still not sure why the MD is stuck. Frankly there are other professions I might be better suited for, actually have more aptitude for. Maybe it is the little kid not letting go of an idea or still trying to prove everyone and myself wrong about not being "built" (personality suited and naturally talented) for the job.
We will see (me included in that "we").

quotes of wisdom

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
He who will not economize will have to agonize.

Something to think on for me

"Maybe it would be good if med school could marry someone else?"
"Well fortunately or unfortunately for me, med school is polygamous so the hope keeps going."

Not sure what this moment of decision means for me. I am not done with the "healing business." Since it looks increasingly less likely this year will mean med school (still praying hard though), I am looking at fulfilling alternatives to improve my application and make me happier then my current job, even if they pay less monetarily. Unfortunately, I cannot do this without an eye to the checkbook, so any job has to offer enough money for me to eat. And I love eating. I am a poor candidate for the "ramen diet". Now "pancake and crepe diet," I may be able to get behind something along those lines.

Its like a plane ticket on standby at Christmas

Likelihood is just not so good.

Food blogs of interest

Interesting food blogs (this is mostly for myself, I promise!). The.thekitchn.com http://cannelle-vanille.blogspot.com/ http://eatlovedrink.com/ http://brokeassgourmet.com/