Happy pictures

Mashari meris and I cracking each other up at merissa's work event.
The bugs loved the people. But over all it turned out really well!

Declan turned 8

Declan turned 8 today. And for the first time ever (except the actual birthing day) I am not there to celebrate. I hurt with missing my family. My mom would remind me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family to miss. But right now it just hurts.

Poll: Could You Live With Only 100 Things?

Poll: Could You Live With Only 100 Things?
I have to admit, I really don't think I could. Excellent article.

They never met an awkward social situation they didn't like

Apparently there is "surprise" farewell party for me on Thursday. Unfortunately since I get everyone's calendar invites, it's not so much a surprise. Except, I have only been here for 5 months. And frankly, they couldn't cough up a position that would keep anywhere near the manner to which I am accustomed (ie paying student loans AND eating).

Let you know how it goes. Sounds awkward.

First a bomb scare, then a fire alarm, now regular government irritating jargon

When I arrived at work this morning, I was literally turned away by FPS and the DC Metro Police. There was a bomb scare. I turned it to my favor and I shot up to Target to get a prescription I needed. Finally one entrance of the building was cleared by 10am. Apparently a painter was using a suitcase to carry his brushes and had a cell phone charging next to it, plugged in outside the building. They then used the fire alarm going off for a few minutes to inform us that the "all clear" had been given. Given how jumpy the 2 hour bomb saga made everyone in the building, I think the fire alarm might be a bit much.

It's amazing how much nonsense can be said in a single 20 minute period. Today during a staff meeting with my primary government client, he tried to refer to a big meeting that happened last week and praise everyone for coming together to help make it happen. Unfortunately for him, there was also, what could politely be termed "cat fight" on the same day before the event. Yelling, name calling, and physical intimidation (though the person swears that was not her intent) were all on the menu. Someone even reportedly called the cops (though they didn't show up as far as I know).

I hate it when say things like "look in the mirror" for the problem or "these people have our full support" or we are a"customer-focused" organization. As my wise father once said, "if you need to say it, it probably isn't true." Or in the case of the mirror, I have generally found most problems originate with the person espousing that line, someone who is trying to deflect attention from their own failures by pointing to other people.

But deflecting is something we all do. Like me. Because I am deflecting everyone and myself from focusing on the terrifying fact that I am not in medical school yet. And internally I am deflecting myself from my fear of applying and starting medical school. That I really need to figure myself out. Soon. But don't talk to me about med school yet. Please. It's scary enough without feedback. Trust me, talking about isn't going to make this better. But I am working on it.

Moments when time slows

I need one of those moments. When time slows down. Somehow I have made it "here", wherever here is, and yet I didn't mean to be "here." I think most folks come to some point like this in life. Generally, I think it's called a mid-life crisis. I want life to slow down so I can somehow make decisions.

And yet I am healthy and employed. A depressingly funny quote from Ben Morrell (yeah, high school drama friends) edges things into some perspective.
"L: You have a 1/11mil chance of crashing in a plane
B: I have a 1/25mil chance of getting this type of cancer I have! #FeelingPessamisticRWe"

The speed at which time passes should free me from worry, right? After all, I worried in January about moving and committing to anything when my job was uncertain. I worried about getting into a lease which wouldn't let me move back to Seattle right after I finished Georgetown. Yet I am still here, two+ years later.

Maybe this could be termed existential crisis. Probably not though. I'll let you know.

Hmm pictures of me.