Day 2- My first great love (in great detail)

You thought I forgot this little exercise. Well, I didn't !

My first great love. Honestly, I hope it hasn't happened yet. My love life has been distinctly anticlimactic. My friends have fallen in and out of love with apparent easy, I hold romantic relationships and guys not "safe" at some distance (safe= gay, attached, or completely not right/unavailable). I am getting better as I get older, as my recent forays into the DC meat market can tell. And I see a bit more success. But still nothing that makes me lose my tight, fist-clenching grip on common sense and cynicism.

My first "love" (it was 6th grade and doesn't really deserve the word, but oh well). Ryan. Ironically blonde and blue eyed. I still "accidentally" date that type, even though I prefer a darker look. He was shyish, but popular. Lots of girls wanted to "go out" with him. I think we actually ended up at some social event "together" (parents preparing for an auction or something to that nature).

My first boyfriend came at the same time. While my love "went out" with someone else, I agreed to go out with Rob. He was kinda cute dorky, brown hair. Eager to please. When he asked me out several days in a row he offered to "change however you want." Cuz that's a brilliant dating philosophy. He is probably completely darling now. We date for the length of two recesses during a single day. Then I backed out because I felt so bad that wasn't interested in him really at all. I just wanted to be part of the cool kid crowd who all had boyfriends.

I am glad I am not in 6th grade anymore.

Bud's new shoes

They are kinda awesome. Total throw back to the 80's.

Stealing Me Too- Day 1 Introduction

My beloved cousin Riah has begun doing this. I can't promise to be as pithy and awesome, I refuse to promise to go into great detail. But I don't think this is a bad exercise for me. And hopefully it will be entertaining and enlightening for my readers (also known as my family).

(Oh, and I also do not promise to complete this in all sequential days, but I will complete it.)
Schedule-
Day 01 - Introduction
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favourite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Introduction: I am me. I am a daughter; I am an analyzer; I am a sister; I am a dog lover; I am caretaker. One day I hope to become a healer.

I thought I would be someone else by now, but I am not. Over years, that's becoming ok.

I am just me. Nothing more. And certainly nothing less.

Wishes are like...

Wishes are like dandelions, there must be fertile ground and no anxious gardener around
-Tanya Green

Traffic for 10 days-Beijing

Heard about this from my friend Ben Morrell. Holy cow.
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dr-gridlock/2010/08/chinese_traffic_jam_hits_10-da.html

New project #4

Yep, I started a new project at work. Again. Man I need to grow up and go back to school and do something I truly love and believe in. If only I felt sure all the time that I knew what that actually was.

I started working for a really awesome PM, who had been a colleague on a previous project. Unfortunately the project may end soon, we aren't sure. We are up for recompete on this project too. I live in a wasteland of short term contracts. Thank goodness I finally took a leap on an apartment. If I kept waiting for something long term, I might never be going anywhere.

On this project, I finally get to be an analyst instead of an admin. Officially. On the last job, I totally made up my own title. I don't take appointments for someone elses calendar, I don't handle a general phone line, and I don't have to deal exclusively with one messy government client. Just a group of four clients, all battling for supremacy. Which may end up being worse after all.

Let you know how it goes. I may have to go into witness protection, but one day, I will find a venue for the ridiculousness I have been privy to working for the government.

Self-editing, truth and graciousness in discourse

"if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Yes, its good advice in a difficult situations. My mom generally didn't say that to me a lot, but she did say it. As I learn more about myself, as I grow up and explore my and hopefully end some of my more irritating and debilitating hang-ups, I wonder: am I say truth and giving honesty when its right, even when its not nice? Especially to myself. Denying feels doesn't end them. Feelings don't have to be fair to be real, to be felt, to effect decisions.

So I will work to be honest with myself. And kind in my speech. Except when it is right (I pray) to speak truth in love.

And here I will end. Because I am self-editing.