I feel . . . sloshy

I feel that rolling boat feeling. Not the "stomach is going to empty" but the head/body feeling of boat rolling. But I am sitting upright in a chair at work. I started to get sick Saturday morning and by night I had a full blown sinus infection feeling. A little sudafed and I felt loads better. I even did some yoga with Merissa and Mari last night. However it didn't help me sleep. At all.

I am not sure if it was the CVS Nyquil knockoff or what. I was fighting sleep hard (that is just me for some reason) and then I couldn't sleep at all. Finally turned the light off for good at 2am. I tried at 11:15pm right after leaving a message for Mom, then she called me, but I was trying soooo hard to go to sleep so I let it ring through to voicemail. I should have just stayed up to chat. It would have been a better use of time. Even though the light was off, I didn't sleep. I finally got out of bed at 4:50am and started reading. Watching the sun. Might as well. Obviously not sleeping any time soon.

I feel fine. Honestly. When I cough I sound like a victim of TB or 30 year smoker, and the whole rolling boat feeling. But other than that . . .ok I should have stayed home. But I don't have a whole lot of sick days and government may go on furlough in which case I would have to take days off. . . excuses. Long story short (too late you say) I am playing typhoid Mary at work. Except work is definitely where I got this little sickness. So share and share alike.

The Big Easy didn't go down so well towards the end

Thursday night after some fantastic food, and enjoyable company, I found myself hugging the toilet instead of enjoying NOLA flavor. I got a 24 hour/food poisoning bug. I don't want to blame the food because it was fantastic. But man did I feel like crap. And I missed out on beignets. I had saved them for an all out hog fest on Friday because our other mornings were too early. Guess it just means I need to return soon. I did enjoy it!

The doctor says I am not sick enough. . .

When I woke up this morning with pain in both ears in addition to the other sick, I decided that maybe a trip to the doctor could be warranted. Guess what he told me to do? Wait! For the length I was thinking (until around Friday) then if not getting better start taking the prescription he gave me. I could have done that! Geez louise! At least he didn't make me come back in again to write it. I only have to come back if I don't get better after the antibiotics. The bummer is if the whole thing is viral, the antibiotics won't help anyway! Cross your fingers and pray.

The cold optimist

Since I have had a sore throat for almost a week I thought that when to whole thing developed into an actual cold/sinus infection this weekend, the whole thing would end quickly. Obviously. This morning I was proven completely wrong. Well, we can only hope for the best. Ironically from the girl who is constantly trying to talk all her doctor-phobic friends into going to see the doctor more often, I keep trying to get away with letting the cold incubate and end on its own. I firmly believe in letting the immune system fight (when its reasonable) and not over using antibiotics... however it may be coming to that time.

On other notes, Samantha finally started "teaching" yesterday (actually only observed) and met her kids. I asked her how she felt about it, whether she thought they would be a good bunch. She is still crossing her fingers. After all, every class, even the terrifying ones, start out being good.

Once and again, life;s little oddities

I was searching for a song called "Rain" by Patty Griffin that I heard on Bones (my new favorite show, at least until I run out of episodes anyway!) and I found the song quickly. Itunes even predict from my searching for "Patty" that "Griffin" was going to be my next word (which borders on creepy and cool at the same time). However while noting that she was also featured on other listing I noticed that the artist was listed on an itunes Essentials list for Thanksgiving dinner. I generally check out these lists since my taste in music varies and changes rapidly. What stunned me about this list was not its presence, since there are "Essentials" lists for everything for a Lazy Sunday the absolute must have Tibetan throat singers. This list was special because it was for a holiday that revolves completely around family and yet it had Explicit songs listed. Family, Thanksgiving, Explicit songs? huh? Anyone else seeing the disconnect there?

The Patty Griffin song is pretty good by the way.

As for me, I am mellowing in my apartment, waiting to do any thinking until it drops below 65 degrees. My building, despite the fact that we have now had several weeks in a row of consistently high temperatures (2-5 degrees higher than average) has still not turned the air conditioning on. In fact, they also haven't turned the heat off. So my cooling system is the two windows wide open and now hoping that not too many people will smoke for much longer. Since I seem to be able to smell quite a bit of it going on! It feels very Rear Window. I expect to see a murder and frankly I think a Grace Kelly character hanging around might add life interest for sure.

All this open window business is lovely. Or would be normally. But apparently my move to the mid-Atlantic region triggered latent allergies. Pretty much everyone has them here, it feels like. And so do I now. Argh! The pollen count quadrupled yesterday and has continued climbing today for already obscenely high. And I can tell you, I feel it! As much as I love my bike and riding around, the combined heat and pollen had me hacking like a life long smoker with emphysema. Hopefully I will get soon at least get that cool sexy raspy voice. I mean, one can hope?

Despite being Friday night, I think I will call it a day. And try to get up early tomorrow and enjoy the early morning rather than late afternoon I usually wake up to. Its supposed to be mid-80's again tomorrow and I want to have my bike ride early enough that I can spend the rest of the afternoon studying. In the library. Where its actually cool. You being forced to leave my apartment windows open in the dead of winter because it was ridiculously hot (the heat was ALWAYS on high) was one thing. I mean, when its 30 degrees outside, you want to come home to an apartment that averages the mid-80 without even trying. But when it a hot Spring, the heat indoors becomes significantly less appealing! (Grumble, grumble, sorry!)

Zantac is great!

I just discovered the longer term acid blockers. I actually don't know which one is which just yet. (I got a free sample of something) and decided to try it in desperation last night after Tums galore and even some fizzies. This actually makes it really bearable.

Oh and I thought my physic homework I started last night was the right one. But oops, nope, that is next weeks. I figured it out about an hour and half ago and just punched that sucker out. I am done!! Hurrah. I even played some computer games, did some organic chemistry problems and ate lunch rather early. Malia's on her game today! Gosh do I wish I could manage this everyday. The ironic thing is that I spent most of my night last night fight for any small scrap of sleep I could get and I am exhausted!

Thank you Lord for adreniline keeping us going.

For those of you counting down until I come back to Seattle, yes it is getting obscenely close. For those that are counting until the wedding (nominally the reason I am coming home) stop it Robin! You are not allowed to count anymore! Yes, you will beat me out of singlehood. But not yet, my friend. Not yet (insert evil laugh). For those counting down until I am done with Georgetown (my mother and father), my last final is May 7. After that, its good bye.

Happy and sad times. It will be happier when I have a certain job!

Slacking on the blogging. . . ugh, that rhymes

So I have been slacking on the blogging. I am sorry. Things have been going ok. Just bumping along. I have had a wonderful new addition to my housekeeping routine, namely a bialetti coffee pot. For those of you unfamiliar it is a on stove coffee maker that heats the water up through the grounds into the top compartment. This makes really wonderful coffee without the bitter after taste of french press or some of the other options that have water spending too long on the grounds. It also makes pretty strong coffee. And I can now down it with the best of them! I am drinking way more, which is bad, I know.

On other fronts, tests start again this week. A little early because of the holiday. So friday is a bio test again and monday another orgo test. I am soooo excited about the fact the end of the semester is coming soon. Time has really flow by. I am just praying really hard that I unexpectedly get really, really, really good grades this semester. I know that if I did, it would be undeserved at this point. I have just been squeaking by.

Samantha came this weekend after all. Which I have really enjoyed. Having a best friend around to do nothing with (or something) is nice. Comfortable. Except when she yells at you in the morning to get to school on time like today. Which I did. First time in a long time that I have gotten to physics before he started lecturing. Don't you hate it when people are right!?

Mom went home on Wednesday, which was hard because that was also fun and convenient. But probably a little bad for the studying, although she did get me on track with my biology lab and helped me sound out alot of ideas for a paper I wrote on disparity in healthcare (don't ask me anything about that right now, I will talk forever and be really frustrated and mad at how bad it really is. Maybe in a few months I will calm down!)

I am really tired. I wish I could just feel like I am running at normal speed at least 25% of the time but I feel like I rarely hit my good stride. I found a job at National Children's Hospital which would be on call assisting shifts in the Heme-Onc ward. I am thinking about applying. It maybe good to get me back in my stride at a hospital. Remind me that I really am good at high stress situations. Alright I am an adrenaline junky who needs a fix, but can you blame me!?

Oh, pray that this cold that has been hanging around will not fully develop. I need all the energy I can get.

Sadness, turmoil and biology

As my family and a few friends know, my uncle died this weekend. My uncle Dan could be many things, but he was always steadfast. He could tease or be deadly serious. He always had a candy dish. He was a man of firm opinions and determined manner. You always wanted him to be on your side. He was a firm support for family. He died completely unexpectedly of heart attack early Sunday morning in his sleep.

Needless to say this has hit my family very hard. My mom's sister, Aunt Charlotte, and Uncle Dan had been married for a very long time. I honestly don't know how things will come out in that. I am very glad because I believe alot of people are coming around her to help, including her family. Lots of people were there with my Aunt.

I personally feel very displaced because my usual method of engaging grief is to be busy helping. I feel disconnected from my family in this grief. It is a long distance shared experience and I am not familiar with that. And I can't help my Aunt Charlotte personally out here in N. Virginia. I am also someone who places a great deal of feeling on occasion. Social gatherings, as inept as I feel sometimes in them, are important in placing yourself, in realizing your loss. In identifying others you can help and who can help you in shared grief. Yet I am unable and far away. I wish I could help my family. I wish I could be with my family to help them.

I do feel like I am helping in some way because I am actually dog sitting for my cousin Hope. When I agreed to house sit while Hope and Terry were at Terry's brother's wedding no one could have anticipated that I would also be holding down the home fort so Hope could go to her father's funeral. They are very torn between the joyous event of a wedding and the wrenching sadness of death.

I do feel a bit better today on a different front. The cold is finally receding. I don't feel like like I have been hit by a truck today. Possibly only a smart car. The pressure is going away in my sinuses (with a liberal application of dayquil) and the snot is not moving out of my throat with quite the speed. And I am CONSCIOUS, which is much more than can be said for me on Saturday.

And today is a biology day, which means I only have to do physics, not sit through a physics lecture, which is great! And I do love biology.

The long and the short? Today I am surviving and maybe even doing well. For these small things I am truly thankful.